Random thought

This may have occurred to me before, but I noticed something interesting when saying Maariv Friday night: Hashkivenu lists "plague, sword, famine" among the things we ask to have prevented. I wonder if there's any connection, direct or not, to the fact that that's (according to some readings) three of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Awesome

So some years back, I went out to San Diego on a business trip. (Check my archives for photos.) A bunch of lawyers, often sitting in one big room together.

Just that week is when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes began dating, or got engaged, or something. In the course of the media crush, Holmes was quoted as saying (adopt Hollywood starlet voice) "I think Scientology is awesome." ("Ah-some.") We (the San Diego crew) had a good chuckle over that one. We'd be sitting around, each quietly doing our own work, when someone would suddenly pipe up, apropos of nothing, "I think Scientology is awesome." It never failed to crack us up.

Almost seven years have passed, and in all that time, until this day, my brain has maintained a Pavlovian response to the word. All I have to hear is the word "awesome" in any context, and I automatically say, aloud, "I think Scientology is awesome." Then comes the explanation, and, to this day, it never fails to amuse. Not long ago I was explaining it to someone in the Mamilla Mall elevator; the doors opened up and we found ourselves face-to-face with a huge poster of Katie Holmes as model for H. Stern jewelery. Now that's awesome.

And now my personal meme has outlived that relationship. Well, in all sincerity to Ms. Holmes, I wish her (and her daughter) all the best. I suppose I should feel bad for using her as a punchline all these years, but hey, Hollywood is supposed to entertain us, and their wacky religious beliefs always help. At least we still have Mr. Cruise to kick around.

A New Theory by Anne Elk

So I guess I'm using Facebook for my little Israel tidbits now. Head on over there to see 'em...

On Shabbat, I was looking for something entirely different in the Encyclopaedia Judaica (which I got for free- long and cute story), and came across the entry for "Salome." Something in her biography didn't seem quite right, so I checked out the family tree- a whole page- under "Herod." Wow, is it complicated. All sorts of successive marriages, marriages to half-uncles and cousins, and more- did you know that some of Herod's descendants were kings of Armenia? Weird. Of course, a marriage forbidden by halakha (to a brother-in-law) is actually at the center of the whole Salome story (and, of course, the play by Wilde, who made things even, ahem, weirder).

But it got me thinking: The family tree of Esav, at the end of Parshat VaYishlach, is pretty complicated, with various names repeating in different places or taking others' positions and so on. One explanation (I can think of other possibilities) Chazal and the Meforshim give is that there was so much adultery and incest going on, everything got mixed up.

Now, as is well known, "Edom" is frequently identified with Rome in Chazal. I once heard a rather convincing shiur that attempted to give a historical backing for this using Roman history, but it still seems a bit farfetched. It had previously occurred to me that one basis of this identification may be that Herod was, literally, an Edomite (or at least Idumean, which is likely the same thing), and his close personal, political, and historical connections with Rome may have led Chazal to make this identification.

Now I see another layer added: We know that the Gemara often, and for obvious reasons, substitutes Biblical names for current events- Nebuchadnezzar stands in for some Roman emperor, for example, logically enough. Could it be that the explanation of the problems in Esav's line (also) serves as a not-so-subtle commentary on Herod's? It makes sense to me... (Of course, the Roman rulers had their own issues in this area.)

Now I begin the clock for someone to tell me that some paper written sixty years ago makes the same point, and has been debated since. It's happened before.

HaYom...

Early Friday afternoon, my lovely spouse and I were walking home through the secure zone outside the Prime Minister's official residence, almost right next door to us. (It's the large blurred-out area on Google Street View.) We noticed that the guards- Prime Minster's guards, a Border Police SUV with a couple of female cops inside, others- were converging toward the end of zone, and saw that they were gathered around a man in a black hat and jacket with a long white beard. He was holding up a sign- a laminated standard-sized piece of paper.

At first we thought he was demonstrating against something (there are always at least a few in the area), except they don't allow them that close. Efrat joked that he was looking for a "tremp" (hitchhikers often hold up signs showing where they want to go) and couldn't figure out why there were no cars around. :-) Then, as we got closer, we saw the word "שבעה" (seven) on the card and thought it had something to do with the fact that the Netanyahu was sitting shiva for his father (albeit in his father's house, a few blocks away).

Turns out it was none of the above. The card read "היום שבעה ועשרים יום, שהם שלשה שבועות וששה ימים לעומר". The man was leading all of the guards in reciting it out loud, and they were all enthusiastically joining in the counting of the Omer. As we passed, he gestured to us with the sign, but we smiled broadly and told him we'd counted the night before.

I think the best part is the huge smiles that break out on the faces of everyone we repeat the story to.

Have a great Pesach Sheni, Lag B'Omer, and rest of Sefirah, all!

The hike was *so* worth it.

Nice view, no? We were standing near the top of the tel at Beit She'an, in northern Israel. Beit She'an is especially known for its Roman and Byzantine ruins, but its history and antiquities go back much, much, further. But that's not the best part of this shot. Here are some closeups:

That's what's on the left of the first photo: The oldest part of the city, from about 7,000 years ago.

 

And that's what's on the right of the first photo- the mall of modern Beit She'an, whose most prominent sign is...well, imagine some Canaanite king millennia ago:

"O prophet, tell me of the future of this place."

"I see...I see...two glorious golden arches!"

Yup, it's a McDonald's. My camera can't quite capture it, but, yeah, you can see them at the same time.

Plug: I highly recommend the felafel place next door to the mall. And Kibbutz Shluchot, down the road, where we spent Shabbat.

More pictures to follow, I hope.

March Comes In

Oh, my, yes, like a lion. In addition to all the lovely snow and blessed rain, Jerusalem looked for a while like an umbrella graveyard. Yesterday, Ramot Shlomo- including "770"- was completely invisible, in the fog, from Har Hotzvim.

Har Hotzvim is basically just across the road from Ramot, and yesterday I took a bus to Givat Shaul after work. Maybe a quarter of an hour, all told, and that wasn't even the most direct route. Beforehand, my spouse pointed out to me that I was following the end of this past Shabbat's haftarah- Shmuel goes home to Ramot, and Shaul goes home to Givat Shaul. It's struck me previously that the text presents this as quite a distance- as if (as it seems to have turned out), they were never going to see each other again. Now? A short trip.

(It is true that modern place names don't always match- but then, what was "Givat Shaul" back then was possibly even closer to Ramot than today's.)

Today, I got one of those "loving living here" moments as I walked into the office building. Hanging from the rafters were balloons of all sorts of characters- Winnie the Pooh, Mickey and Minnie, and others. Various offices are decorated for Purim, and I (and the woman following me) had a huge smile as I ascended the stairs. Happy Purim!

One of my favorite activities is finding interesting juxtapositions in newspapers- articles where the editors clearly did not (and had no reason to) realize how funny and/or ironic the two appear when viewed together. In fact, one of my two letters in the New York Times was based on that very concept.

With that in mind, I present, without comment, two headlines from today's English Haaretz. They appear right next to each other on the first page, below the fold:

Supreme Court to rule on Palestinian hunger striker

Israeli cabinet supports involuntary hospitalization of anorexia patients 

To which I can only say, "Ha!"

By the way, speaking of Haaretz (it's my better half who pays for it, before you ask- I personally can't wait for them to go under, and I suspect she can't either), one thing I love (not) is the way they present stories as if the point is just so obvious they don't have to spell their outrage out. Witness:

Education Ministry school program presents Gush Katif as the epitome of Zionism

It's pretty obvious that the newspaper's intention is that we get the vapors and reach for the smelling salts. My reaction, of course, is "BOO-YA!"

Peace out, friends.

"Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man!"

"How's the smut business, Jackie?"

“I wouldn’t know, Dude. I deal in publishing, entertainment, political advocacy.”

“What one was 'Logjammin'?”

“Regrettably, it’s true. Standards have fallen in adult entertainment."

Ben Gazzara, RIP.

During Pesukei D'Zimra today, a young man came in with a Sephardi Sefer Torah- the ornate kind in a wooden box, heavily decorated in silver. They put it in the Aron, and then took it out later for keriyat  hatorah. The gabbai announced that it's a very old Sefer- another man said over two hundred years old- that was captured in the Old City by the Jordanians in 1948. King Abdullah (great grandfather of the current King Abdullah) then gave it back after someone told him it was bad luck to take a Sefer Torah, and it is on display in the museum upstairs from the Beit Knesset (in Heichal Shlomo). Once a year they take it down to layn from it. Isn't that nice?

Elementary

And a Happy New Year! Not really celebrated by the two of us, but I did take in a showing of the new Sherlock Holmes movie Saturday night. (I suppose a good sign you've been here for a while is seeing both the original and sequel in the same theater.)

So I walk into the cinema lobby and, lo and behold, the computers are down. No tickets are being sold. (Of course, they didn't start screenings until it was sorted out.) "World's leading software developer," someone in the crowd said sardonically.

This is, indeed, true. And as the crowd grew and the minutes ticked on, one by one, people in the crowd- men, women, religious, secular, young, old- stepped forward to volunteer their services to get the system up and running again. Israel's really gone the hi-tech route, hasn't it?

For whatever reason, they did not take advantage. Eventually, all of us who'd bought tickets online (the vending machine was down too, of course) were told to go in to the theater in a sort of honor system; everyone else got paper tickets, and the movie started a bit late. But oh, so worth it. And if that wasn't enough Sherlockian goodness (since I'm on the UK side of the pond, should that be "Holmesian?"), the new season- whoops, series- of Sherlock premiered yesterday! Whoo-hoo!

Yeah, it doesn't take too much to excite me, not that these weeks aren't exciting enough for other reasons. Laterz!

Grunberg Update

Sure enough, he was at the Kotel Friday night, dancing up a storm with a large group of Tzanchanim and saying Kabbalat Shabbat with them. Hope he enjoyed his trip.

Edited to add: See here.

OK, a bit less spiritual this time...

This month is "Chamshushalayim," when there are special events throughout the city every weekend. More to the point, there are deals in the restaurants, so I, Mrs. Lammpost, and a friend went out to paint the town red. After a few false leads, we had a great dinner and then decided to have "afters" in another place, an almost literal hole in the wall with a French theme that serves, it is said, the best hot chocolate in town. (This is true.)

So we go in and order hot chocolate and sort of order a waffle (don't ask; it's Israel). And who should walk in the door, entourage in tow, but Greg frickin' Grunberg. GREG GRUNBERG! Also known as frummed-out Sean Blumberg of Felicity, as Houdini descendant Eric Weiss on Alias, as Jim Kirk's stepfather (scene deleted) in Trek XI, as topless Titans fan number three in Goldmember, as typecast lovable Jewish schlub in just about every role that calls for it, especially if it's Bad Robot, as the favorite actor of lovable Jewish schlubs (e.g., moi) the world over. Man, my college buddies and I loved him back in the day. Still do. And here he was, in J-town, eating a waffle side by side with me, talking about how great Israel is. I was hooting all the way home. The lovely spouse and friend did not- brace yourselves- even know who he was. So I turn to Facebook and my blog for some companionship here. Anyone?

Experiences

I don't think I'm very prone to them, but every now and then I get hit my an experience that really gets to me. Perhaps because I live here, or perhaps because it is a font of experiences, these usually have something to do with being in Israel.

A few months back, I visited Hebron for the first time, for a conference. (I've been to next-door Kiryat Arba a few times, but not Hebron.) The conference was right next door to the Cave of Machpela, which, of course, I'd never seen before. From a physical point of view, it's an amazing structure on its own, built by Herod. But then, after the conference, we had a few minutes before the buses left, so I headed up to the Me'arah. It was closed, and as a kohein I wouldn't have gone in anyway, but the experience of just standing right in front of it suddenly hit me with a wave of emotion. I'm there! The burial place of the forefathers of our nation! I'm in Israel! Wow. I go to the Kotel all the time and have been up to the Har HaBayit quite a few times, but never felt anything like that. Why? Not 100% sure.

Last Motzai Shabbat, I davened Maariv in the Great Synagogue. Afterward, we said Kiddush Levana, and did that little dance afterwards. Now, I've done that every month for decades. And yet, here, again, I suddenly felt the place and the experience enter me. Again, don't ask me why, but there I was, in Yerushalayim, singing and dancing, and...wow.

Last night, I led Maariv after the latest rehearsal for HMS Pinafore. (Do come! It's going to be a great show.) Our rehearsal space is in Talpiot, in south Jerusalem, and it randomly occurred to me that we were facing more north than east, something you never think about outside of Israel (mostly). It didn't really hit me, though, until Mincha of today, in the office of a major international accounting firm located across the hall from where I work. There, too, I considered how we should be facing southeast instead of straight east...and the idea that I'm close enough to the Makom HaMikdash for this to matter suddenly hit me. Amazing, isn't it?

I suppose it's the busiest months when I post the least! Rehearsals, work, setting up the new home...and no time for ol' Blogger! Still, as I've written earlier, I try to do at least once a month, lest I risk messing up the index.

I must write about Pat Dolan, whose memorial is tonight in Queens. Like everyone I spoke to, I was shocked by the news of her tragic death. I even submitted a bit to read at the memorial if possible. (I served on the board of the Civic Association- see that link for a nice memory.) Let me just say here that she was the most dedicated of people, working selflessly for the community, not accepting excuses when people tried to argue for special treatment for "their" group. (V'hamevin yavin.) I remember her being particularly upset and offended when people accused her of- yes, I'll say it- anti-Semitism when she was merely trying to have decent laws applied. (Little did they know that appealing to her Irish Catholic background had no effect either.) She had not an ounce of (undeserved) hatred in her, and had much commitment to all. She will be sorely missed; RIP.

More later, I hope! Happy Chaf-Tet!

Welcome home, Gilad!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Some rabbi made a big to-do when, speaking at Baruch Goldstein's funeral, he stated that a thousand Arabs are not worth one Jewish fingernail.

But in demanding a thousand prisoners for one Jew (or sometimes only bodies), aren't the Arabs basically conceding the same?

Yeah, I know, I'm being a bit fatuous. But what else can you do when faced with such madness and evil?

Ah well. Hope it all goes well tomorrow. The medical interns have already set up a protest "succah" (sans s'chach) next to the Shalit tent. At least the Shalits didn't extend so far out into the sidewalk...

The other day, walking home from shacharit, I saw that someone had painted the peace symbol, in bright blue graffiti, in two different places on the walls of the Kings Hotel.

I was already grumbling when I passed one more "tag": The Hebrew word for "revolution", in the same exact shade of blue, on yet another wall.

It must be nice being able to define all terms, so you can be in favor of "peace" and revolution at the same time. Oh, and be a vandal yet be celebrated as an "artist" by the New York Times.

This is one of a series of videos in which Leonard Nimoy, speaking to a Star Trek convention, looks back on his life. Fascinating and funny- follow the links to watch the whole thing.

The funniest bit, for me? He's recounting a scene in Wrath of Khan and says, "Kirk says, 'Scotty, if we don't have warp speed in four minutes, we're all dead.'" And you can hear a fan distinctly say (correctly) "Three."

I love Trekkies. (One myself, of course.)

I liked this piece- I actually know the author, somewhat. I absolutely loved this line, though:

There are some presidents and prime ministers from other countries who have said things like “Israel has the right to defend itself.” No, it doesn’t. Israel does not have the right to defend itself. It has the m*********ing obligation to defend itself.

I actually always liked it when said presidents and prime ministers would say that. Now I realize how they are (inadvertently, I'm sure, and much as I'm still grateful) buying into the other side's narrative just by bringing it up. It occurs to me that the United States Constitution actually confers no rights- look it up. They are assumed to exist. To say they do is already accepting the argument that they might not.

Friday was my aliyah-niversary, and it would have passed unnoticed if not for a Facebook comment by my fiancee. (I usually remember the Hebrew date.) I rode the light rail! Let's retroactively say that was a celebration. What was so funny was how blase all the riders were, on day one.

Oh, yes, I said "fiancee". For those of you who know me only through this blog (right), the wedding is in two weeks. Whoo-hoo!!!!!

"Reality-based"

So let me get this clear:

1. You arrive in the US illegally as a child, live there many years, achieve fame (or not). Then you reveal your status. We're all supposed to feel bad and change our views on, well, that little ol' thing called the "law" because of that and acclaim you a true-blue American.

2. You arrive in the US as a child (legally? who knows), grow up there, never really know your country of origin. You commit a heinous crime and are sentenced to death. Time comes for execution fifteen (!!) years later, and suddenly you "discover" that you're not an American and you (and both the Mexican and US [!!!, sadly but not suprisingly] governments) start demanding all sorts of rights based on that.

His last words, of course (thank God Texas doesn't buckle under to pressure), are in praise of the country he never lived in.

Does...not...compute...

Full disclosure: I'm a (legal) dual citizen myself. But I'm not demanding any sort of special treatment. Nor am I (case one) lying or (case two) murdering, it goes without saying.

Edited to add: For another example of non-computing in this case, see here.

I love this country

The biggest news story in Israel over the last few days has been- I kid you not- the high price of cottage cheese. I have yet to make up my mind whether this is a Good Thing (maybe we really don't have anything else to worry about?) or a Bad Thing (are we whistlin' past the cemetery?).

Or maybe Israelis just really like their dairy products.

As to the issue itself, I don't even like cottage cheese (the word is the same in Hebrew, by the way), so I'd be pretty disappointed if, say, the government fell over this. (Hey, governments have fallen for a lot less- and stayed in power despite a lot more.)