Lammpost

2012-02-02T05:02:00.004-05:00

During Pesukei D'Zimra today, a young man came in with a Sephardi Sefer Torah- the ornate kind in a wooden box, heavily decorated in silver. They put it in the Aron, and then took it out later for keriyat hatorah. The gabbai announced that it's a very old Sefer- another man said over two hundred years old- that was captured in the Old City by the Jordanians in 1948. King Abdullah (great grandfather of the current King Abdullah) then gave it back after someone told him it was bad luck to take a Sefer Torah, and it is on display in the museum upstairs from the Beit Knesset (in Heichal Shlomo). Once a year they take it down to layn from it. Isn't that nice?

Elementary

2012-01-02T07:18:00.000-05:00

And a Happy New Year! Not really celebrated by the two of us, but I did take in a showing of the new Sherlock Holmes movie Saturday night. (I suppose a good sign you've been here for a while is seeing both the original and sequel in the same theater.)

So I walk into the cinema lobby and, lo and behold, the computers are down. No tickets are being sold. (Of course, they didn't start screenings until it was sorted out.) "World's leading software developer," someone in the crowd said sardonically.

This is, indeed, true. And as the crowd grew and the minutes ticked on, one by one, people in the crowd- men, women, religious, secular, young, old- stepped forward to volunteer their services to get the system up and running again. Israel's really gone the hi-tech route, hasn't it?

For whatever reason, they did not take advantage. Eventually, all of us who'd bought tickets online (the vending machine was down too, of course) were told to go in to the theater in a sort of honor system; everyone else got paper tickets, and the movie started a bit late. But oh, so worth it. And if that wasn't enough Sherlockian goodness (since I'm on the UK side of the pond, should that be "Holmesian?"), the new season- whoops, series- of Sherlock premiered yesterday! Whoo-hoo!

Yeah, it doesn't take too much to excite me, not that these weeks aren't exciting enough for other reasons. Laterz!

Grunberg Update

2011-12-10T12:20:00.001-05:00

Sure enough, he was at the Kotel Friday night, dancing up a storm with a large group of Tzanchanim and saying Kabbalat Shabbat with them. Hope he enjoyed his trip.

Edited to add: See here.

2011-12-08T18:31:00.001-05:00

OK, a bit less spiritual this time...

This month is "Chamshushalayim," when there are special events throughout the city every weekend. More to the point, there are deals in the restaurants, so I, Mrs. Lammpost, and a friend went out to paint the town red. After a few false leads, we had a great dinner and then decided to have "afters" in another place, an almost literal hole in the wall with a French theme that serves, it is said, the best hot chocolate in town. (This is true.)

So we go in and order hot chocolate and sort of order a waffle (don't ask; it's Israel). And who should walk in the door, entourage in tow, but Greg frickin' Grunberg. GREG GRUNBERG! Also known as frummed-out Sean Blumberg of Felicity, as Houdini descendant Eric Weiss on Alias, as Jim Kirk's stepfather (scene deleted) in Trek XI, as topless Titans fan number three in Goldmember, as typecast lovable Jewish schlub in just about every role that calls for it, especially if it's Bad Robot, as the favorite actor of lovable Jewish schlubs (e.g., moi) the world over. Man, my college buddies and I loved him back in the day. Still do. And here he was, in J-town, eating a waffle side by side with me, talking about how great Israel is. I was hooting all the way home. The lovely spouse and friend did not- brace yourselves- even know who he was. So I turn to Facebook and my blog for some companionship here. Anyone?

Experiences

2011-12-08T08:11:00.001-05:00

I don't think I'm very prone to them, but every now and then I get hit my an experience that really gets to me. Perhaps because I live here, or perhaps because it is a font of experiences, these usually have something to do with being in Israel.

A few months back, I visited Hebron for the first time, for a conference. (I've been to next-door Kiryat Arba a few times, but not Hebron.) The conference was right next door to the Cave of Machpela, which, of course, I'd never seen before. From a physical point of view, it's an amazing structure on its own, built by Herod. But then, after the conference, we had a few minutes before the buses left, so I headed up to the Me'arah. It was closed, and as a kohein I wouldn't have gone in anyway, but the experience of just standing right in front of it suddenly hit me with a wave of emotion. I'm there! The burial place of the forefathers of our nation! I'm in Israel! Wow. I go to the Kotel all the time and have been up to the Har HaBayit quite a few times, but never felt anything like that. Why? Not 100% sure.

Last Motzai Shabbat, I davened Maariv in the Great Synagogue. Afterward, we said Kiddush Levana, and did that little dance afterwards. Now, I've done that every month for decades. And yet, here, again, I suddenly felt the place and the experience enter me. Again, don't ask me why, but there I was, in Yerushalayim, singing and dancing, and...wow.

Last night, I led Maariv after the latest rehearsal for HMS Pinafore. (Do come! It's going to be a great show.) Our rehearsal space is in Talpiot, in south Jerusalem, and it randomly occurred to me that we were facing more north than east, something you never think about outside of Israel (mostly). It didn't really hit me, though, until Mincha of today, in the office of a major international accounting firm located across the hall from where I work. There, too, I considered how we should be facing southeast instead of straight east...and the idea that I'm close enough to the Makom HaMikdash for this to matter suddenly hit me. Amazing, isn't it?

2011-11-29T04:22:00.001-05:00

I suppose it's the busiest months when I post the least! Rehearsals, work, setting up the new home...and no time for ol' Blogger! Still, as I've written earlier, I try to do at least once a month, lest I risk messing up the index.

I must write about Pat Dolan, whose memorial is tonight in Queens. Like everyone I spoke to, I was shocked by the news of her tragic death. I even submitted a bit to read at the memorial if possible. (I served on the board of the Civic Association- see that link for a nice memory.) Let me just say here that she was the most dedicated of people, working selflessly for the community, not accepting excuses when people tried to argue for special treatment for "their" group. (V'hamevin yavin.) I remember her being particularly upset and offended when people accused her of- yes, I'll say it- anti-Semitism when she was merely trying to have decent laws applied. (Little did they know that appealing to her Irish Catholic background had no effect either.) She had not an ounce of (undeserved) hatred in her, and had much commitment to all. She will be sorely missed; RIP.

More later, I hope! Happy Chaf-Tet!

Welcome home, Gilad!

2011-10-17T04:08:00.000-04:00

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Some rabbi made a big to-do when, speaking at Baruch Goldstein's funeral, he stated that a thousand Arabs are not worth one Jewish fingernail.

But in demanding a thousand prisoners for one Jew (or sometimes only bodies), aren't the Arabs basically conceding the same?

Yeah, I know, I'm being a bit fatuous. But what else can you do when faced with such madness and evil?

Ah well. Hope it all goes well tomorrow. The medical interns have already set up a protest "succah" (sans s'chach) next to the Shalit tent. At least the Shalits didn't extend so far out into the sidewalk...

2011-09-26T04:28:00.000-04:00

The other day, walking home from shacharit, I saw that someone had painted the peace symbol, in bright blue graffiti, in two different places on the walls of the Kings Hotel.

I was already grumbling when I passed one more "tag": The Hebrew word for "revolution", in the same exact shade of blue, on yet another wall.

It must be nice being able to define all terms, so you can be in favor of "peace" and revolution at the same time. Oh, and be a vandal yet be celebrated as an "artist" by the New York Times.

2011-08-22T12:02:00.002-04:00

This is one of a series of videos in which Leonard Nimoy, speaking to a Star Trek convention, looks back on his life. Fascinating and funny- follow the links to watch the whole thing.

The funniest bit, for me? He's recounting a scene in Wrath of Khan and says, "Kirk says, 'Scotty, if we don't have warp speed in four minutes, we're all dead.'" And you can hear a fan distinctly say (correctly) "Three."

I love Trekkies. (One myself, of course.)

I liked this piece- I actually know the author, somewhat. I absolutely loved this line, though:

There are some presidents and prime ministers from other countries who have said things like “Israel has the right to defend itself.” No, it doesn’t. Israel does not have the right to defend itself. It has the m*********ing obligation to defend itself.

I actually always liked it when said presidents and prime ministers would say that. Now I realize how they are (inadvertently, I'm sure, and much as I'm still grateful) buying into the other side's narrative just by bringing it up. It occurs to me that the United States Constitution actually confers no rights- look it up. They are assumed to exist. To say they do is already accepting the argument that they might not.

2011-08-21T05:27:00.001-04:00

Friday was my aliyah-niversary, and it would have passed unnoticed if not for a Facebook comment by my fiancee. (I usually remember the Hebrew date.) I rode the light rail! Let's retroactively say that was a celebration. What was so funny was how blase all the riders were, on day one.

Oh, yes, I said "fiancee". For those of you who know me only through this blog (right), the wedding is in two weeks. Whoo-hoo!!!!!

"Reality-based"

2011-07-08T01:20:00.004-04:00

So let me get this clear:

1. You arrive in the US illegally as a child, live there many years, achieve fame (or not). Then you reveal your status. We're all supposed to feel bad and change our views on, well, that little ol' thing called the "law" because of that and acclaim you a true-blue American.

2. You arrive in the US as a child (legally? who knows), grow up there, never really know your country of origin. You commit a heinous crime and are sentenced to death. Time comes for execution fifteen (!!) years later, and suddenly you "discover" that you're not an American and you (and both the Mexican and US [!!!, sadly but not suprisingly] governments) start demanding all sorts of rights based on that.

His last words, of course (thank God Texas doesn't buckle under to pressure), are in praise of the country he never lived in.

Does...not...compute...

Full disclosure: I'm a (legal) dual citizen myself. But I'm not demanding any sort of special treatment. Nor am I (case one) lying or (case two) murdering, it goes without saying.

Edited to add: For another example of non-computing in this case, see here.

I love this country

2011-06-16T02:25:00.002-04:00

The biggest news story in Israel over the last few days has been- I kid you not- the high price of cottage cheese. I have yet to make up my mind whether this is a Good Thing (maybe we really don't have anything else to worry about?) or a Bad Thing (are we whistlin' past the cemetery?).

Or maybe Israelis just really like their dairy products.

As to the issue itself, I don't even like cottage cheese (the word is the same in Hebrew, by the way), so I'd be pretty disappointed if, say, the government fell over this. (Hey, governments have fallen for a lot less- and stayed in power despite a lot more.)

"Christians."

2011-05-06T01:41:00.002-04:00

Many moons ago, I applied to the United States Navy JAG Corps. I was interviewed at their recruiting center in lower Manhattan by an officer, while another sat at his desk on the other side of the office, his back towards us- i.e., for purposes of this story, he couldn't see my kippa.

Among other questions, Lt. Rock (short for his long Germanic name) asked me a bunch about drug and alcohol use, and my answers were pretty bland- very little drinking, never used hard drugs, never smoked pot. At the last, I distinctly heard the other officer mutter to himself, in a deprecatory tone, "Christian." (He meant it in the way, well, Christians do- as a born-again type.)

That story just popped into my head. (As I mopped the floor, in fact.) For the last few days, I've been agog at the anguish some are going through about Bin Laden's death and the subsequent reaction. (I am not at all agog at the bang-up way the White House has been handling the aftermath. Can't anybody here play this game?) At first, it was the Catholics over at NRO, so my first (unposted there) thought was, "Thank God I'm Jewish." Then it was a few lefty Jews, but I expect nothing more from their ilk. But then it was the all-so-sophisticated Orthodox intelligentsia, the feel-good-sensitive-non-Zionist MO and RWMO types, and finally, I am reduced to saying, "Christians."

Back to mopping.

Spring is bustin' out

2011-04-01T06:59:00.003-04:00

Yes, we're rehearsing Carousel now.

But it *is* coming, by gum. The first day of Spring was last week, Daylight Time began this morning in Israel, it's the first day of April, tomorrow is Shabbat Mevorchim Nisan, etc. And the weather is finally getting warmer and glorious. I went to the Botanical Garden today for an art opening and enjoyed very much, but who has to go that far? Here's the view out our side window:
If you look closely, you may be able to see the bees.

Yesterday, I attended a shiur, and the speaker mentioned the famous story about the Beit HaLevi and the four cups of milk. It took me a few seconds to realize that the speaker (a Lichtenstein) was, in fact, a great-great-great grandson of the Beit HaLevi (and so many others). I've always wondered how British royals felt in history class when great-grandpa came up; here was a living example of that.

A man who knows what he wants

2011-03-22T08:18:00.002-04:00

There's been this man standing in front of the Great Synagogue in Jerusalem since at least the mid-1990's (to my personal knowledge), soliciting alms. (He reminds me of Epictetus.) I doubt I've given him more than a few agorot these past fifteen or sixteen years. Yesterday being Purim, and having a few shekels from a friend to distribute besides, I finally gave him a nice amount. He immediately put his arm around me and asked for a thousand. :-) Happy post-Purim, all.

Adar

2011-03-16T08:25:00.002-04:00

With (an early) Ta'anit Esther coming up tomorrow, and what with the horrific events of last Shabbat in the news, I had a memory of my junior year in college, Purim time 1996. This was the height of the Oslo madness and the Muslims, as they tend to do, sensed a weak horse and responded accordingly. (Like their Nazi predecessors and once allies, they also have a perverse way of picking just the "right" date on the Jewish calendar for their atrocities.) Five attacks (almost all within the "Green Line," but haters of all stripes are gonna hate) in less than ten days resulted in sixty deaths. Two on February 25; one on the 26th; one on March 3 (on the same bus line as the second attack), one on the 4th. The last was in Tel Aviv, on Ta'anit Esther itself. I recall that a bunch of the casualties were kids in costume.

Ah, how quickly we forget...

For that fast day's mincha, the entire school met in the main auditorium (not the usual practice). Rabbi Norman Lamm, then-president, spoke briefly about the inability to say anything appropriate when things like this happen, and how we, like all those generations before us, can just say Tehillim and let them speak to us. And so we did, before the tefilla itself. My school, Yeshiva University, like many Jewish institutions, has a major chagiga the night of Purim. (Remarkably, for all its spirit, there's no alcohol involved.) The student organizations who arrange it had a meeting and decided not to cancel. They did decide that there would be no band, and the band they'd hired agreed to back out and not even charge anything. Interestingly, I think it was the most energetic and joyous chagiga I'd ever seen at the school. I guess that's how a people like the Jews has to react. I just told this story to someone who was in Israel then, and I was told that's pretty much what happened here as well.

At the end of the chagiga, R' Mordechai Willig, one of the leading Roshei Yeshiva, took out his guitar, the first musical instrument of the night. He sat down, and we all sat on the floor around him, as he played slowly and meaningfully and we joined in singing. That's not something that leaves you. Here's looking forward, despite all, to a happy and healthy Purim.

It must be a good place...

2011-02-15T16:30:00.002-05:00

We had to wait a bit for a table tonight, and so sat at the bar in the meantime. My companion noted that the two men sitting next to me were obviously bodyguards, so we started scanning the room for important-looking people. It was only as we walked to our table when I saw him: Avigdor Lieberman, the Foreign Minister, seated a few feet away with a small group, enjoying his dinner. Wow.

"As long as they don't make it compulsory."

2011-02-01T02:25:00.002-05:00

That was the old line about tolerating gays. (Itself no longer an acceptable option.) Increasingly, it's beginning to look less and less funny. See this very troubling story- one is longer allowed to even deviate from the party line (whatever it is) without being beaten into submission. I still have my inch, I hope. (And yes, I realize the irony of that reference. The [supposedly] persecuted have, as might be expected in this case, become the persecutors.)

"And, although his methods may be difficult for environmentalists to accept..."

2011-01-27T05:13:00.003-05:00

See, stuff like this is what (deservedly) gives enviro-whackos a bad name. It's hard me to accept that the phrasing in the title of this post is entirely tongue-in-cheek. "May be"? Excuse me? It's almost like they approve. See all those "Life After People" type shows and books for examples of their fantasies. (List at the bottom here.)

And then comes Momma Nature to remind us that what we do means diddly squat in the long run. :-) Maybe not this time, but there was once a very frightening illustration of this in National Geographic. (Although I'll admit I didn't quite see it right the first time, perhaps because of how they presented it.)

Meanwhile, the One doesn't really seem to care, which is here, as elsewhere, the main feature of his and both our salvation as well as the danger. (Of course, wouldncha know it's all the GOP's fault, as always.)

Apropos of nothing- or maybe so- I think the way someone responds to this story (I can think of two main possibilities) would tell you most of what you need to know about their views.

"Royale With Cheese."

2011-01-19T03:42:00.003-05:00

The statistics here are actually encouraging. (The prices, not too much.) (H/T Gil.) It was just last night, at a shiur, that someone mentioned that combination of kosher meat and cheese at non-kosher Israeli McDonald's actually may make them worse than the equivalent outside of Israel. So here we see that cheeseburgers aren't even advertised and barely ever served, and that 70% of (secular?!) Israelis want kosher meat, and only 5% davka want non-kosher (whatever that means).

What's interesting that (most) Jerusalem locations aren't kosher. (In fact, it's the last non-kosher place on the eatery-heavy Emek Refaim.) I think that may be the tourist trade, though.

Not ideal, of course, but a very good sign, I think. One commenter on that article wonders if it's really about being open on Shabbat. Based on this, I wouldn't be surprised if that was a big factor.

“Make Mine a Courvoisier!”

2011-01-19T01:09:00.003-05:00

OK, this story may well be what is technically called "untrue." But it's one of my favorite Kennedy stories nonetheless. (Come to think, that's two Kennedy stories in a row.)

The late Sargent Shriver is running for Vice-President alongside George McGovern, 1972. He walks into a bar full of working stiffs in Ohio and, perhaps coached by Tip O'Neill, accompanying him, says, "Beers on me!" Everyone cheers, but Shriver continues to the bartender, “Make Mine a Courvoisier!” At that point, it is said, O'Neill realizes the election is over and gets on a plane back to Massachusetts.

R.I.P.

Random musings

2011-01-05T01:30:00.002-05:00

No wonder Cracked has been running pieces of late about how Islam ain't so bad after all. Another one bites the dust...it's still pretty good, though.

Well, a new Congress, and, in a historical note, the first time since 1947 that there hasn't been an elected Kennedy in Washington (or anywhere else, I think- even Arnold is gone). Wouldn't be so bad if it would stay that way.

Things That Make You Go "Hmmm!"

2010-12-16T06:35:00.003-05:00

Yes, I know it's a complicated subject, and the speaker may have just been quoting others, and that this is his style, and that YU, to its great credit and benefit, is home to many different views and voices. But the rationalist in me cringed just a bit when I heard this line in a shiur- a very good shiur, don't get me wrong- on YUTorah:

...the commentators say that perhaps the source of the Rambam is the Zohar...

I'm thinking of Walter Sobchak for some reason:

...You see, it all goes back to the concept of "aish." Many learned men have disputed this over the centuries, but in the Fourteenth Century, the Rambam...he...

Later in the shiur, he says, when discussing the Hebron Yeshiva,

...unfortunately it was challenged by the riots of 1929...

Well, that's certainly one way of putting it. (Link not for the tender-hearted.) I always liked the way Meir Kahane put it in "Never Again". After describing the riots, he adds, parenthetically, "(The white flags came out quickly in Hebron in 1967.)"

Kerens

2010-12-03T01:07:00.002-05:00

Not sure how funny this one is, but it made me smile. I'm about to cross Ramban Street at Kikar Paris (thanks for the jelly doughnut, Chabad of Rechavia!) when I hear to girls talking English next to me:

"I think we turn here."

"No, this is Ramban."

I'm about to offer help when one turns to me: "S'licha..."

Well, at least I can pass for an Israeli physically, at least to foreigners. In English: "Yes?"

"Where's Keren Kayemet?"

"Up that way, to the left," pointing behind us.

"Whoops! OK, I'm embarrassed."

They turn around and head up. I start wondering if, in fact, they wanted Keren HaYesod, which is in front of us. Sure enough, a few seconds later, they're back.

Me: "You're sure you didn't want Keren HaYesod?"

"OK, we're lost. She said it's by a bank...King George becomes it?"

"Yep, that's Keren HaYesod. Right ahead."

They thank me and head off. Too bad I didn't have a chance to tell them the ridiculous historical reason why there are two easily-confused streets so close to each other- it may have made them (and me) feel better. (In short, the Keren HaYesod [United Israel Appeal, in charge of foreign fundraising] was jealous that the Keren Kayemet [Jewish National Fund, in charge of land buying] had a street named after it, and by the building which they share. So they cut off the end of King George and named it after them. Or so the story goes.)

2010-11-20T12:00:00.002-05:00

Apparently, someone left a stack of old sefarim on top of our shul's sheimot box yesterday. So one of the gabbaim told me, because by Mincha today, there were only two, a very old and cover-less standard folio size volume of Shulchan Aruch and a play of Shakespeare's. I told him it reminded me of the Cairo Geniza, where people apparently put anything written in Hebrew, thinking it was holy, and so we got (quite valuable, from a historical perspective) shopping lists and the like. (Of course, the Rav used this to criticize even halakhic works found there and elsewhere, but that's another story.)

Anyway, my bookshelf is now graced by an Israeli Hebrew translation of A Midsummer Night's Dream from the early 1940's. Nice. Perhaps one day it will stand next to my Klingon Hamlet.

The things you learn...

2010-11-16T00:22:00.002-05:00

Yitz Greenberg and Meir Kahane were BTA classmates. Maybe nothing deep, but the article on the left side here is wild, considering. Keep flipping through (or go back a year) to read more interesting stuff. And giant kudos to YU for putting the whole archive up. Valuable in so many ways.

Ah-CHA-A!!

2010-10-15T07:12:00.005-04:00

OK, here's another:

Waiting on line at a good Schwarma place on the Midrachov last night (before you start tsking, it was the first schwarma I had since Pesach time, and I think the first eating out I did in a long time), a religious couple, clearly from out of town, started asking about the hekhsher. (By this post, I by no means mean to belittle them- checking to make sure of such things is sadly neglected these days in the Land.) Sorry, but there'd be no real point to a translation here, so sorry for the rough transcription. Oh, and see if you can guess the source of the title above.

One of the countermen begins answering, "Rabbanut Hashgacha..."

The couple is insistent: "Rak haRabbanut?"

"Lo, Mehadrin Yerushalayim."

"Ma zeh 'Mehadrin'?"

"Mehadrin zeh...ha-ki tov, haelyon."

"Ken? Aifo haTeuda?"

The counterman begins looking around behind the counter, can't find it there, then realizes it's actually behind them, at the door. He points to it, the couple turns to read it. They're a bit satisfied. But then the man turns back.

"Aval ha'im zeh chalak? Aifo katuv she-ze chalak?"

A pause. The counterman ponders this. Then his face lights up.

"Ah! Avel ze hodu, ze lo basar!"

Another pause as it sinks in to the couple that despite common usage, there ain't no such thing as a glatt kosher turkey, and the counterman isn't so unlearned after all. Defeated- or, more likely, satisfied, they duly place their orders. And so do I. Yum.

By coincidence, a friend just emailed me a teshuva from Menashe haQoton (hey, it's what he calls himself) assur-ing all such foods. I promptly wrote back that I now feel pretty good that I unknowingly had some last night- if he says it's bad, it's a pretty good sign that the good Lord approves. (Ah, I had it phrased so nicely. Durn non-saved sent messages.)

By the way, I finally visited the Islamic Art Museum (see here) today. I'm not sure if I've posted this before- I first visited it in the mid-90's, and was especially impressed with their (non-Islamic) clock collection. Then last year, I discovered that half of the clocks had been stolen way back in 1983, and I was only seeing a part of the collection. They recovered almost all of them a few years ago, and...they are magnificent. Well worth a visit. The rest of the museum is pretty good as well.

French Accent

2010-10-14T16:21:00.005-04:00

It's been a while since my last "street encounter" posting. So here's a new one, once again translated from the Hebrew for your (and my) convenience:

I'm walking down Jaffa Street minding my own business (coming back from this event) when a group of young folk stop me and ask if I can explain a "joke" for them. (The Hebrew word can have a few translations.) They show me a small card on which is written, in Hebrew, "Holyland [the English word written in Hebrew, which is a long story in and of itself involving bribery and an eyesore- don't ask] in Latin, with a French accent." This was apparently some sort of scavenger hunt, and they wanted to know where it was.

Me: "Um...sorry, I don't think I know. Sounds like the Old City. Sorry!"

They: "That's OK, no problem! Thanks!"

We walk on. I go a few meters, still mulling it over, when it suddenly pops into my head. I turn around and run up to them, calling for their attention.

Me: "Holyland in Latin is Terra Sancta! Terra Sancta is a monastery, on French Square, at the end of King George Street! Holy Land, Latin, French!"

They, giving me a blank look for a second: "French Square? You mean Paris Square?"

D'oh! I must be the only person in Israel who refers to it by its proper name. That would have been too easy. Me: "Paris Square, that's right."

They, after checking a map: "Yay!" General cheering and pumping of fists. I walk away with my usual post-street encounter huge grin.

2010-10-03T01:56:00.002-04:00

You gotta love the way Shaffer (of National Review) reacts here (Paladino is running for governor of New York):

SHAFFER: Cuomo published an editorial in the New York Daily News acting like he will be a small-government, tough-on-unions type. Is that believable?

PALADINO: Ever been to the zoo?

SHAFFER: Yes.

PALADINO: Ever seen the zebra in the zoo?

SHAFFER: Yes.

PALADINO: Ever seen the zebra change stripes?

SHAFFER: No.

PALADINO: I’ve got the same feeling about Cuomo.

HYD

2010-09-01T02:20:00.003-04:00

When the news report said the victim led groups to the Har HaBayit, my antenna went up. Then I saw his picture. Yep.

Not much more to say apart from the obvious.

2010-08-30T04:21:00.003-04:00

I'd been in the National Labor Court before, but hadn't noticed this: Cartoons on one wall illustrating various pesukim about treating your workers properly and statements from Chazal about the value of work. Nice.

2010-08-29T18:05:00.001-04:00

Perhaps I'd be a little more sympathetic to this article if:

1. "Holocaust Memorial Day" in Europe wasn't picked on a day that glorifies the "glorious Red Army."

2. The crimes of Communism weren't ignored by most of the bien passants to this day.

Perhaps, but probably not.

2010-08-29T18:04:00.002-04:00

You'd think the One would have learned a little humility after the BP disaster. But no, those with his kind of hubris never do.

2010-08-26T09:40:00.002-04:00

So I'm walking back from the Post Office to the office today and pass the Museum of Islamic Art. (I've been planning to visit for a while for a few reasons- must get to that.) Sitting on a bench outside the "Residence" connected to it is a man eating his lunch. Translated from the Hebrew:

He: Just one question!

Me: OK...

He: This is the Islamic Museum, yes?

Me: Yes...

He: Do the Muslims have a "Museum of Judaism"?

Me, cracking up: In your dreams.

He: Only Jews are crazy enough to do this.

I laugh all the way back to the office.

2010-08-18T03:18:00.002-04:00

Am I the only person who gets the irony in this Turkish embassy story? Armed Palestinian barges in, demands amnesty, shot by embassy security. And that's cool...but I wonder if no one thought of the flotilla. I must peruse some news sites when I have the time.

"Zere are no small coinzidences!"

2010-08-03T12:51:00.003-04:00

Shabbat, 31 July, was my birthday on the Gregorian Calendar; today, 23 Av, is my birthday on the Hebrew one. (I see I share it with Gilad Shalit.) Shabbat was also Parshat Ekev, my Bar Mitzvah parsha, and I read it three times: At the 6:30 Ramban minyan, at Shir Chadash, and at the Late Late Minyan, where I also read the Haftarah. It went over well at each place, and I even got to say Birkat Kohanim two more times than usual. Well, on to Ohel Nechama in two weeks! And thanks to Rabbi Klein, my bar mitzvah rebbe, who made sure it didn't stop there!

After that was a very enjoyable lunch, with fellow Encore people among others. I'm really blessed to have found a good "chevre" here. They think I should audition to sing this time, can you imagine? (Come to think, my bar mitzvah rebbe is also a Gilbert and Sullivan fan- I used to run into him at performances in New York.)

Then Mincha at Shteiblach, and then I hosted this week's Seudah Shlishit for the "Shabbat Meals etc. Jerusalem" group. That, in fact, is another grand chevre I've fallen in with. (No easy link- look for them on Facebook!) Lots of people- thirty or forty- showed up- best of all, my sister, brother-in-law, and niece came at the beginning- and we all had a good time, good food, talk, zemirot, divrei Torah, and so on. I'm glad that the person who alerted me to the group (before I even made aliyah, via Facebook) was there so I could thank her- and the whole group- in my little talk; also there was the person who set me up with my apartment and roommate- also off of, you guessed it, Facebook (500 million members helps, eh?)- and I'm happy I was able to thank her as well. My d'var Torah focused on the parsha and its special ties to Eretz Yisrael, of course.

The day ended with a very enjoyable outing to one of the Waffle Bar locations, again with the Encore folk. But all that, while most pleasurable, proved not to be the most interesting part of the day.

At the first Torah reading of the day, I noticed something interesting- the mantle, the velvet cover of the Torah scroll, had an embroidered dedication to someone with the exact name of my brother-in-law (my other brother-in-law, the one in New York). It described the dedicatee as being deceased and the brother of the people who dedicated it. I saw the Hebrew equivalent of 1930 on the scroll's handles, but wasn't sure if the cover was of the same date or later- it's certainly looked to be about forty or more years old. I emailed my sister in New York on Sunday to see what was up.

Today, she wrote back to me. Her husband is named for his grandfather, who passed away in 1959. (The Torah cover could certainly have been fifty years old.) Right before World War II, he was able to get exit visas (from Germany, I believe) so his entire family- his siblings and their families- could get to Israel and survive. Of all of them, only he couldn't get a visa, and so he and his family (including his wife, his daughter, and his son, my sister's father in law) rode out the war in the Philippines. My sister says that it's entirely possible that his siblings dedicated the cover to him after he passed away. She has a family wedding this weekend and will inquire further. But wouldn't it be so cool if it was him?

And for the most amazing part? His birthday was August 3rd. Today.

Oh, Israel is full of amazing "coincidences." (Not long ago I was struck that a Torah cover in my "regular" shul was dedicated to someone from my paternal grandparents' hometown in Galicia.) But this one- especially if it pans out- is one of the biggies.

RIP

2010-07-14T05:06:00.003-04:00

I'm a Met fan myself. But I remember a TV interview with Steinbrenner back during the '96 World Series (or maybe '98 or '99). The reporter was asking if he ever told the manager what to do during a game, but got a bit flustered between talking to George (Steinbrenner) and referring to Joe (Torre):

Interviewer: "So, do you ever call George and say..."

Steinbrenner, with a grin: "Call George? George who? Costanza?"

Interviewer, chucking: "Sorry, do you ever call Joe..."

That Steinbrenner took the whole Seinfeld thing in good humor was a sign, I think. He even filmed some scenes for the show, but they never aired, I've read because he felt that episode's plotline (the death of Susan) was a bit too harsh. The scenes were with Elaine, of all things- they're on the DVD.

Anyway, who knew he was a mensch? (Billy Martin might disagree, but he did go back four more times. And Steinbrenner did eventually make his way to Berra to make up.) Here are two stories:

From Billy Crystal.

From Daniel Foster.

I liked a line I saw yesterday: "He will forever be a defending World Series champion." RIP.

Kol HaKavod!

2010-07-01T16:29:00.002-04:00

So we're walking down Derekh Bet Lechem tonight, relatively quiet and peaceful at that hour, and a bunch of soldiers passes us on the sidewalk. Diverse group- men, women, religious, secular, all different services and uniforms. On the other side of the street, a man is parking his car, and just as we're all passing between each other, he calls out, "Kol HaKavod L'Tzahal!" and all the soldiers let out a rousing cheer in response. I tell ya, it was something to be in the middle of. Kol HaKavod indeed.

Ugliness

2010-06-17T09:36:00.002-04:00

This piece is incredible and disgusting. Melamed admits right up front that the haredim are simply discriminating against Sefaradiot, but then says (laughably) that everyone has to work to keep the government out of education. The article, of course, doesn't see fit to mention that he himself had a recent run-in over government recognition of his school; nor does it mention that in both cases, they want to have their cake and eat it too (i.e., that the government should recognize/fund them and yet allow them to do whatever they want).

Also troubling, of course, is the way that various groups see an obligation to defend the racists in this case just because they don't like other things the Supreme Court (or State) has done. Witness Arutz-7's refusal to condemn haredim for anything, or their constant use of "haredi-religious" to describe them.

By the way, I await with bated breath the day that haredim turn out to demonstrate for a Dati Leumi or Sefardi causes.

Yom Yerushalayim

2010-05-12T01:19:00.002-04:00

Many years ago, I saw a book called "So Sorry We Won!", סליחה שניצחנו in the original Hebrew. It was published right after the Six-Day War and contained columns by Ephraim Kishon and cartoons by Dosh from that period. I remember one of the latter in particular, probably done right after the war: A very old man, with a long white beard, is sitting with a little boy on his knee. Spread out on his lap, the floor, the walls, are books and maps depicting the war, arrows showing how the Israeli forces swept here and there. And the little boy is saying, "Oh, come on, Grandpa! It couldn't have happened that way!" The grandfather, probably a veteran of the war, has a small smile on his face.

And here we are, the veterans of that war grandfathers or greater. I thought of that cartoon at the small "kibbud" we had after the shacharit chagigit this morning. One elderly mitpallel started talking about the miracles we experienced, leading our gabbai to reminisce about what it was like as a soldier in the weeks leading up to the war. Wow. It did happen that way, didn't it?

Et, tu, Abigail?

2010-05-11T02:06:00.002-04:00

Abigail Thernstrom writes, regarding the Constitution:

Might the Three-Fifths Clause have been a wee bit of a defect?

This is a common meme among the race-hustlers. And, of course, it is quite simply wrong. The Three-Fifths Clause was meant to increase the rights of slaves and perhaps even help bring about the end of slavery (something that the document hints at elsewhere as well), not decrease them or declare them less than human, as is claimed. Not perfect, of course, but hardly what Thernstrom should be pointing to in order to make her point. (Come to think, I can't really think of something she can point to.) That a scholar of race relations can so glibly state this is troubling.

Remember the Commerce Clause?

2010-05-09T01:26:00.002-04:00

Article I, Section 8, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution reads: [The Congress shall have power] "To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian tribes". The original intent was clear, even if it isn't to the Left portion of the political spectrum, which neither knows what the Constitution is nor cares much about what it was intended to accomplish: The Constitution was written so as to create a stronger Union between the States; one fear was that states would set up trade barriers, tariffs, and so on at the borders to protect their own industry. Thus, Congress was given the exclusive power to do so, so that there would be complete free trade between the states. (I suppose the power was reserved to Congress for the rare instances in which regulations would have to be made, e.g. the blockade of the South during the Civil War, although I imagine most examples aren't all that drastic.)

The problem is, that clause has been much abused in pursuit of the increase in Federal power in the last hundred years or so, to the point that it has been completely removed from its original context. Namely, it has been read to give a positive power to Congress, such that Congress is said to have the power to regulate anything relating (however marginally) to commerce between states, a definition that, it has been seen, takes in pretty much all activity by anyone anywhere.

Well, this morning, thinking of how various cities have been talking of boycotting Arizona due to that state's eminently reasonable new immigration law, I got to wondering: Isn't this exactly what the Commerce Clause was designed to outlaw? Don't states have no power in this matter, and aren't they forbidden from discriminating against trade with other areas? I doubt Congress will rise to the occasion, but it seems to me like it would make a beaut of a Constitutional lawsuit. Just my two cents, from thousands of miles away.

"NY car bomb suspect cooperates, but motive mystery"

2010-05-05T05:12:00.001-04:00

That's the AP headline. Lord save us all. (And from the likes of "Probably someone angry at the health care bill" Mike Bloomberg.)

"In sooth, then, faithful friend, this was a rug of value..."

2010-04-29T16:41:00.001-04:00

Magnificent.

2010-04-29T08:29:00.001-04:00

Kind of ironic that a Bill Ayers speech is monitored for bombs, eh?

2010-04-07T01:06:00.002-04:00

Last night I visited Mosad Harav Kook, the famed research institution and publishing house, for their annual sale. It runs until next week, and I highly recommend it. A huge selection of great books, almost all from them, of course, at huge discounts. I managed to restrain myself and limited myself to what I came for. (OK, maybe just a bit more. But that was it.) There was a big and very diverse crowd browsing and buying.

In the lobby was someone selling the Bar Ilan Responsa Project, now on "disk on key." I think if you bought enough at the sale you got a discount. He had some monitors set up to demonstrate and greeted everyone coming in with an "Erev Tov" ("Good evening"), a flyer, and, presumably, a sales pitch if you stuck around. On my way out, he was still at it. A man in a black hat and suit came in:

Salesman: "Erev to..."

Customer, cutting him off and hurrying on: "Ain li mechashev." ("I don't own a computer.")

He was so abrupt I just had to laugh out loud, although a few seconds later I realized that, the Haredi world being what it is, he might well have been telling the truth. Still, it made me smile. And I got a few good books out of it too, which is never a bad thing.

2010-04-03T17:22:00.002-04:00

Just like UN vehicles in these parts have "UN" written on them in large letters, so too reporters (no matter what their actual medium) have "TV" written on their cars in big letters. I was always a little offended by that- the obvious implication is "We're on your side, don't throw stones at us!"- and also a bit amused- Arabs don't use the Latin alphabet, but the whole world knows from the letters "TV." But today I saw something really funny- a couple of media SUVs with the letters "HD" added before "TV." Ha!

So, heading home down a semi-alley tonight, I see a few kids arguing/discussing something. As I approach, one goes "Ah!" and turns to me. I was a bit wary, but no need. Translating from the Hebrew:

He: "What blessing do we make on bananas?"

Me: "The fruit of the earth." (The usual blessing for vegetables, not fruit, which gets the "fruit of the tree" blessing.)

He, turning to the girl as if I've just settled it: "Aha!"

She: "But...it grows on a tree!"

I tried explaining that strictly speaking a banana doesn't grow on a tree (look it up), and walked on. And promptly cracked up. What a country.

Shloshim Yom...

2010-03-02T02:29:00.001-05:00

What an enjoyable Purim that was! On to the next chag, Nefesh b'Nefesh asked for reflections on the Chagim to be published in the Young Israel's Magazine. Here's my contribution:

I have a short anecdote from Erev Pesach of last year. I hadn't yet made Aliyah but was well along in the preparations, and was in Israel for the Chag.

Erev Pesach last year was extra special, as it happened to fall, of course, on the same day as the once-in-every-twenty-eight-years Birkat HaChamah. After Shacharit at a Beit Knesset in Katamon, where I was staying, we went outside and actually had to walk a couple of blocks to see the sun rising. Then I walked to the Old City and went up to the Har HaBayit (having properly prepared early that morning) along with thousands of other people. The leader of our group said Birkat HaChamah and explained why the Har HaBayit is a particularly significant place to do so, as the Mishna in Sukkah describes how they used to stand there and recite the formula "Our fathers stood in this place and worshiped the sun, but we turn with our eyes to God."

I then walked back to Katamon. In one of the parks I passed on the way, there were perhaps a dozen small fires going (in the barbecue pits) with people standing around them burning their chametz. As I walked by, a car pulled up and a young family got out- father holding the hand of a boy of about three or four, mother holding a baby girl. They were clearly not religious (in the sense we usually think of the term)- no kippot, etc.- but the little boy had a small bag in his hand with the chametz they'd collected the night before. As they crossed the street to the park to join in one of the fires, the father began asking the boy, in Hebrew, what they were doing; the boy answered about the requirement to eliminate chametz for Pesach as the father explained further.

After seeing a scene like that, it would have been hard for Pesach itself to have lived up to the day before. But, of course, it did. Chagim in Israel can be like that. I'm very much looking forward to my first Pesach as an Oleh.

The things you learn...

2010-03-01T05:03:00.000-05:00

I've been reading the Megillah for who knows how long, including three times this Purim alone. And only on the third time, today, did I notice something interesting: Shushan Purim is treated as the norm, and "regular" Purim is something "all those other people do." Maybe it's because the book was written in Shushan, and I'm probably noticing it because this is the first time I'm celebrating Shushan Purim, but there you are.

A Megillah Comes Home

2010-02-28T16:47:00.003-05:00

I've previously written about the Megillah I read from- see the end of the post here. It wasn't until yesterday, though, and an email from my mother, that I got the full story. My parents sent it over to Israel so I could read for a few people this Purim, and after I sent them a note telling them that I'd gotten it, here's the message I got back:

Happy to hear that the megillah arrived safely. Dad and I figured out that it may be close to 100 years old. Don't ask me how my cousin Henoch Lieder, of Kiryat Hashmal outside of Haifa, got his hands on it. He made aliyah to Israel, I believe after the war, but was caught and imprisoned in Cyprus for a while. He was married to Yachne Bashe who was my mother's first cousin. He's the one in the Betar picture, if you remember. Maybe as a young man he studied in Yeshivat Mir but when the family arrived in Israel they were not religious and if I'm not mistaken, when my Tante Eshke visited Israel, he gave her the megillah. She gave it to Dad when we were in Cleveland in 1973. Hopefully this will be the megillah's final home. I think I wrote a whole megillah...

Isn't that nice? Happy Purim, one and all!

Leeks

2010-02-22T02:48:00.002-05:00

Caught a bit of a cooking (cookery, for the Brits) show. Set in what seems to be a kitchen on an organic farm someplace out in the hills, raining. The host has a serious thing for leeks, at least in this episode. Makes leek chicken soup, then announces that he's going to do challot with leeks. He and the guy who runs the farm start kneading the dough.

Again, translating from the Hebrew:

Farmer: "Ah, challot. My mother is a da'atiyah [religious] and makes challot every Friday. I love challot."

Host: "Really? I didn't know you were raised religious."

Farmer: "I'm still a ma'amin [believer]. Just without a kipah."

Host and farmer then go off for a while in a discussion of religion, how religious each is despite not having the visible signs, how much they appreciate the religion and traditions...and then, after a few minutes, the host seems to suddenly remember he's on a cooking show:

Host: "Well, in any event, we're doing the leeks now..."

A nice little moment. The challot looked yummy, by the way. They should have smell-o-visions for those shows, and I see an Israeli company is developing one for cellphones, as it happens.

Ahh, cabbies

2010-02-18T17:57:00.003-05:00

OK, here's another one to match the one below:

So I'm sitting at the bus stop, minding my own business (the eventual destination was Tel Aviv, for a very nice evening), learning from a Gemara, in fact, when a cab pulls up in front of me. At first I think the guy wants my business, but then I realize he's asking me something. Something about...Yehuda HaNasi?

Now, let me explain: Yehuda HaNasi (Judah the Prince) was a third-century rabbi. The Greek Colony, the next neighborhood over from where we were, is full of streets named for rabbis from that period, and I assumed (my headphones had been in) that he was asking me where "Yehuda HaNasi"- that is, Yehuda HaNasi Street- is. Logical, right? Translating from the Hebrew:

Me: Um, I'm not sure...somewhere down that way...

Cabbie: Sorry! You don't speak Hebrew?

Me (boldly): Yes, but I'm just not sure where it is...

Cabbie: No, no! Who was Yehuda HaNasi?

Me: Ah, who! He was a rabbi, a Tanna. Lived in the year...

Cabbie: I just told someone he arranged the Mishna! Was I right?

Me: Certainly! He was the one! Live in the year two hundred...

Cabbie: Two thousand? [The words sound vaguely similar in Hebrew.]

Me: No, two hundred.

Cabbie: Ah, of course! But he arranged the Mishna...are you sure?

Me: Definitely!

Cabbie: Thanks!

And he drives off, and the bus comes. Nice, eh?

Incidentally: My synagogue changes their various cloths- the ark curtain, the reading table cover- fairly frequently. Today (whoops, yesterday) I noticed that the cover they had on was dedicated to those people from the city of Brody who were killed in the Holocaust. And I thought- my father's family was from there; most of them were killed in the Holocaust. Good to see them remembered in Jerusalem.

"When I live in Jerusalem, I am living another's dream."

2010-02-16T04:22:00.002-05:00

I saw that quote in a poetry book recently, and frequently have cause to think of it, even when experiencing seemingly unrelated events, like passing by a local Hasmonean-era tomb on Chanukkah, or hearing a reference to "Canaan" in Joseph Erev Shabbat Vayeshev. (A lovely minhag of my roommate.)

I was on my way to the opening panel of the Jerusalem Conference last night, riding in a taxi with a somewhat talkative cabbie. (Note, although it's becoming something of a- still lovely!- cliche in these sorts of stories, that there was no kippa on his head. This is all translated from the Hebrew, by the way.) I usually don't take cabs, but the hotel where the conference is at is a bit out of the way and I was slightly pressed for time.

So I'm sitting in the back, listening to the Daf on my Ipod, and we're heading up Straus Street, when the driver asks me if I want to go straight or turn right on Neviim and take a more roundabout route. He explains that the straight route will take much longer- lots of traffic. The Haredim are out in force, rioting and burning trash in Kikar Shabbat over some nonsense. (We smelled it on the way back. Lovely.) So we turn right as he (and, I'll admit, I) carry on about the Haredim and their crazy and destructive habits, as he blasts the police for being ineffective along the way. "Nu, it's getting warm," he says. "They need something to do." "Let them work during the day, they won't have as much energy at night," I opine. "Where do you live?" he asks.

"Katamon."

"Try adding a room to your porch in Katamon! The municipality will be on you in a second and stop you and fine you! Here in Geulah? Nothing!"

He then went on about how he thinks bottle recycling is nonsense, and would only put his bottles in the bin if he knew the money was going to tzedakah. "But the city keeps it all! See this bottle?" He holds up his soda. (Only liter bottles have redemption value in Israel, due to- believe it or not- Haredi pressure. Don't ask.) "I throw it in the regular trash- I don't need the money. Let someone who needs it collect it and get the 25 agorot." This then leads to a discussion about tzedaka. Amidst another blast at Haredim ("Rosh Chodesh Adar today- Marbim b'Simcha! They're practicing for Bi'ur Chametz already, and it's a month and a half off!"), he suddenly shifts gears. "Ahh, lots of tzedaka is given in Geulah- millions of dollars collected. I always give- you know what kimcha d'pischa is?"

A bit shocked to hear him use the phrase, it takes me a second to acknowledge that I do.

"You have to give! How can I enjoy my meal, my seder, when I know that other people don't have food? You have to give kimcha d'pischa..."

The conversation ends with talk of Gilad Shalit. "They want us to let people go- let them go! Then we can kill them right after we release them, when it's OK! Give me a gun and send me to Shechem, I'll do it myself!"

He drops me off at the hotel, telling me to send regards to the Mayor. Alas, I didn't get that chance, but the session was very nice indeed, with Mayor Nir Barkat (whoo-hoo!), Minister Benny Begin (looking more like his father all the time), journalist Nadav Shragai, Natan Sharansky (I always feel in awe when I see him), R' Aryeh Stern (two Katamonites in a row!), and Gavriel Barkai, the archaeologist, who gave an impassioned talk calling for Jewish rights on the Har HaBayit, from a mostly secular perspective. Interesting there too...my sister and brother in law were there- we sat together, which was very nice as well- and I got a ride home with a neighbor I see in shul every morning- turns out I was in ulpan with his wife. Don't think I'll make any of the rest of the conference, but Kol HaKavod to them, and most of all to my cabbie.

2010-01-26T01:07:00.004-05:00

Cold and wet in Jerusalem, Barukh Hashem. Just down the block from me is parked a car- a BMW!-with Vanuatu plates. (Scroll down for a location map.) Aside from the obvious question of how the car got here (never mind what it's doing here), now I'm worried how they're taking the weather.

2009-12-16T01:41:00.000-05:00

Am I the only person who sees the irony in this story?

My Strange and Charmed Life

2009-11-20T00:36:00.002-05:00

(A physics reference; never matter.)

So I'm entering the Ben-Tzvi Institute last night for what proved to be a very enjoyable experience. The guard, as is usual, asks me if I'm carrying weapons. (I'm always amused/bemused by that question. They must be asking for some other reason, right?) My companion and I laugh, and go, "As a matter of fact..." I turn around and show him the three plastic swords sticking out of my bag. We all nearly collapse laughing.

Why am I carrying plastic swords in my bag? Come to Beit Shmuel, end of December, and you'll know.

Boy Wonder

2009-11-18T16:22:00.003-05:00

Let me just make it clear up front that I think the whole "peace process" is a crock, and, even more, hope it fails miserably- precisely because I believe that its failure is a necessary step toward achieving true peace, the most important thing.

That said, you have to savor the irony of Obama, the man who supposedly understood the world so well he'd save not only the US' international reputation but the world itself, really putting his foot into it, on both sides, and thus perhaps (hopefully?) ruining the very process he claimed only he could save.

On the Palestinian side: I think a serious case can be made that the Arabs are ever more emboldened by the fact that it seems that the current US administration will see no wrong in them, thus leading to their attempted unilateral moves that may well (again, hopefully) lead to Israel taking some steps of its own.

On the Israeli side: Let's not be stuck on stupid: I think it's pretty obvious that when the US says it doesn't want building in a place, it means it hopes that place will one day be Judenrein. Leaving aside that there are hundreds of thousands of Jews in the West Bank and tens of thousands in the Golan Heights (and considering what a bang-up job has been done on- whoops, for- the few thousand Gaza expelees), when Obama's representative starts talking about Gilo in the same language, Israelis are gonna put two and two together and start drawing the line, and at a lot more than Gilo and Jerusalem.

So much for The One stopping the rise of the oceans.

Reasons I love being here, part...

2009-11-05T00:56:00.003-05:00

"White Russian."

[OK, OK, but if my purchases are going to be influenced by movies, that's a good one. Besides, up on stage at the Canaan music bar, Jordan Zell is playing an original song named "Russian Girl."]

The waitress looks at me quizzically. I repeat the order, point to "Black Russian" on the menu. A light goes on.

"Ah! Ani Eshol." [I'll ask.]

She talks to the kippah-clad bartender, comes back a few seconds later.

"Zeh b'chalav- anachnu b'sari." [There's milk in that- we're a meat establishment.]

I order a Black Russian instead, as a small chorus of angels inside my head (and I, to my neighbors) sing the praises of the Land of Israel.

I've ordered White Russians in bars before. This is the first time that's happened.

Oh, did I mention the shelves behind the bar that the bottles are on are in the shape of a giant Magen David? Perfect.

Toto, I don't think we're in Queens anymore...

2009-11-03T06:16:00.003-05:00

The following is on the front page of today's Yediot Acharanot, the largest circulation paper in Israel. I have not translated; the line appears in English. (The speaker is the unrepentant murderer of an entire family- parents, grandparents, toddler and infant.) The asterisks are mine, because this is a family blog. Apparently, however, that isn't a consideration for Israeli newstands, and the word is printed in full:

"I'm a nasty m*****f*****, I killed them all"

I'm going to have to go through some cultural adjustment, that's for sure.

2009-10-23T10:07:00.001-04:00

I've heard this story a few times over the years. I always thought the punchline meant something else entirely (something not so funny) until I finally got it (I think) yesterday. (Might be the way he tells it here.) Hilarious and offensive, be forewarned.

2009-10-02T06:21:00.001-04:00

So I'm walking past the flower shop at the end of Rehov HaNasi today and pass an elderly nun walking in the same direction. At that moment, one of the flower shop employees comes out holding some plants. They clearly know each other.

"Shalom! Chag sameach!" calls the nun.

"Chag sameach!" replies the flower woman with a smile. "Mah shlomeich?"

"Toda la-El, toda la-El," the nun says happily. "Chag sameach."

Chag sameach to all!

(I think getting used to the liberal use here of the word "Elohim" is one of the things that will take the most adjustment, language-wise. Oh, and as it happens, in the novel we're reading in ulpan now, we've just gotten to the point where the main character meets a Hebrew-speaking nun. Go figure. )

2009-09-27T02:45:00.002-04:00

Is it just me, or did anyone else give a chuckle when they saw that the name of the Member of Knesset calling for a ban on drinking scenes on TV (no comment) was "Tirosh"? Hee.

Been a while since I posted, I know. Busy busy busy here- lots to do, lots of wonderful people I've been meeting. I'll have a more in-depth post on one of the latest soon. But there was this bit in Yediot Aharonot a couple of weeks back that I thought I'd share, (loose) translation mine. After telling us about the various Israeli glitterati that met Quentin Tarantino during his recent visit to Israel, it continues:

"The cheerful group went on Sunday to the Tzafra Restaurant in Tel Aviv, and in the course of the meal the well-known director [Tarantino- not Jewish, by the way] asked Ada Tomer, wife of [Kobi] Ashrat, to give him advice on what to order. When she told him that the seafood* wasn't bad, he stated, "Oh, no, I'm in the Holy Land." The [implied- uncomfortable] situation was saved by..."

Yesterday Rav Stern, in his Shabbat Shuva drasha, told us about seeing the zechuyot in every person. Let me say this: The fact that, whatever they eat, the situation was uncomfortable for them is a zechut enough for these tzfonikim (a term I use with endearment here), and gives me hope for the future as well.

*The Hebrew word for (non-kosher, it seems) seafood, as used here, is "perot hayam," literally "fruit of the sea." The euphemism remind me of Philologos' column on pig here, and its use, in my eyes, only gives shrimp and pork eating Israelis yet more zechuyot and hope. May we all be judged well in the coming year and experience nothing but blessings.

Holy Land

2009-08-31T15:34:00.002-04:00

I have to say, there's something nice about a Gilbert & Sullivan company that breaks for Ma'ariv.

2009-08-28T02:19:00.002-04:00

I think I saw Ted Kennedy once in my life, and that was more than enough. It was at an OU "Mission to Washington", and he (and, of course, some Republican senator) got a plaque or something at the luncheon. I remember hoping I wouldn't get close enough for him to offer me his hand. I'm kind of picky about coming into personal contact with murderers. (The more I read, the more troubled I become, by the way. I'm not one for conspiracy theories and all that, but when it comes to a Kennedy being a drunken lout and possibly doing something far worse than what people think they know about the whole thing...I become gullible, sue me.)

"Strange how the brain controls the brain!"

2009-08-20T15:34:00.004-04:00

I once read- in "The Oxford Book of the Year"- that different people cope with obviously incorrect statements in different ways. They were discussing dates: If you were told, for example, to be someplace on Friday, August 20th, would you assume that "Friday" or "August 20th" were incorrect? Apparently, women tend to follow the feria (day of the week) while men, the date. (I think I'd follow the day, but that's another discussion.)

Anyway, this occurred to me today at the checkout line in the supermarket. I suppose the following is more true because the clerk was speaking Hebrew (Yup, I'm here in Israel! Hooray!) and I...don't, so much. But here's the problem: She tells me, "Me'ah ve-shishim agorot," which literally means, "One hundred and sixty agorot," an agorah being one-one hundreth of a shekel. I immediately began looking for one hundred and sixty shekalim. Why?

Because of the comment from Sherlock Holmes that appears as the title of this blog. Without realizing it, my brain told me two things: First, she said "one hundred and sixty" as a block of speech. Second, she said "agorot," which is impossible, as my purchases could not have totalled only 1.60 shekalim. So my mind told me to look for one hundred and sixty shekalim, which is a bit more reasonable. As it happens, we cleared it up quickly and I gave her 105 and got change, but there's material to be mined by the neurologists there.

Of course, like I said, had it been in English, it probably wouldn't have been a problem. I suppose I have received a valuable lesson that the word "shekalim" is often elided in speech, and that agorot never total more than ninety-nine. It reminds me of the German spy who entered a bar in England during World War II, having just snuck in by boat, and was told his order totalled "Eight and six." He whipped out eight pounds and six shillings, which is well over twenty times the real price, which was eight shillings and sixpence. His career for the Nazis ended shortly thereafter. :-) Fortunately, my transaction didn't have the same repercussions, and I'm enjoying some hummus right now.

Congregation Etz Chaim

2009-08-03T14:00:00.002-04:00

Last night was our annual shul dinner. I chipped in on an ad on behalf of the daily morning minyan (one of the honorees, and his ten-year-old son, are regulars), and so attended. It was really very nice- the MC mentioned that the shul has, as its guests of honor at its dinners, not big donors (it's not that sort of shul), but people who add to the life of the shul and community. And how true that was last night- some magnificient honorees, speeches, food (you have to mention it!), and time spent with the wonderful people who make up the shul, a pillar of the community.

And then, the rabbi got up and, assuring everyone I had no idea what was coming, spoke about how great it is that I'm making Aliyah, called me up to present me a sefer (the very appropriate Em HaBanim Semecha), and spoke about what I've contributed to the shul over the years (not much, I assure you, or so I thought) and how they will miss me. Wasn't that nice of them? Ah, there are things I'll miss here, and will strive to replicate in the Holy Land.

2009-07-31T12:52:00.002-04:00

Is it just me, or was Biden's "unplanned" attendence at this little beer-thing a good way to keep it from looking like two (prominent) black guys ganging up on one (lower class) white guy?

Of course, the very prominence of those two black men is a living example of what a joke claims of "racism" have become in this country. I tell you, I used to like a piece Gates once wrote for the Times on Amos 'n' Andy. Now I realize how full of his bitterness toward white people it was, and how I was missing the whole point.

At least Gates is of an age and a birthplace where you can get where he's coming from. (Even though such an attitude is just irrational today.) Obama doesn't have any sort of excuse for his racism- and never would for his anti-Semitism. But that's where we are now.

Anyway, today's my 34th! Those of you who know Talmudic lore will understand a reference to Bilaam here. The cards and wishes only serve to remind me how blessed I am when it comes to friends and family. And just for today, check it out!

Hillul HaShem

2009-07-26T22:37:00.002-04:00

It seems as if the Orthodox community suffers from an ability to completely miss a text for...well, I can't say "for a subtext," because the sad fact is they seem to be missing it, period. This thought occurred to me as I listened to the haftarah yesterday, full of its warnings about thieves and bribery and injustice, and wondered just what people like these beauties arrested last week hear when that is read. (Leaving aside, of course, kiddush clubs and hassidic mumbling of haftarot.)

In fact, there's an even more obvious example: The very use of the term "Hillul Hashem." It seems that to too many Orthodox Jews, it means, "An embarrassment to the Jewish people." (To be more precise, to Orthodox Jews- you didn't hear as many people defending Madoff, or signs going up about the issur of lashon hara then, did you?) Well, yeah, to a degree. But why ignore the literal meaning? It means "a disgrace of God" (to be a bit more accurate, God's name.) Now, granted, some may not like saying that God can actually be affected by our actions, although the idea exists elsewhere as well. And far too many people, as it happens, don't really believe in God, whether they know it or not. But the simple fact of the idea of Hillul Hashem is that the (religious) Jewish people, by virtue of their closeness to God as well as their mission to spread His word, are His image on Earth, and if they mess up, well, that hurts His Image, of course.

And boy, are they messing up lately. The problem, sadly, is that while Orthodox Jews may be big on the "closeness" idea, most- at least in the Haredi end of things- have no inkling of the "spread of the word" mission. In Israel- where the "other" to whom the message is to be spread is Jewish!- it seems the main goal of Haredim is to "get theirs" and let the rest of the country go chase themselves. In America, it's not much better, which is why Gil Student can write a whole post about how Jews shouldn't concern themselves with gay marriage (mirroring not just the Haredi world as a whole but those slightly to its right, those indifferent ones across the spectrum, all organizational life, and leftists who are just fine with it, r'l) and someone can actually articulate, in a comment, that "I don't think the Torah requires us to monitor morals of wider society." That, of course, misses the whole point of the Torah.

And so that leaves a scattering of Modern Orthodox (and Dati Leumi, in Israel) and, of all people, R' Mayer Schiller and other unexpected voices. The rest, sadly, increasingly follow a religion of men, not of God.

Ah, that's all too depressing. Let me move on to a cheerier, albeit somewhat related, topic. Last Monday I attended my last meeting of the Kew Gardens Hills Civic Association, our annual meeting with the local police precinct commander. I handed over "the books" to the new treasurer, and the president made some remarks about how they'll miss me. That would have been more than enough for me- I hate being the center of things, even though I crave it. (I am large, I contain multitudes.) And then, this morning, the doorbell rings, and it's another board member: They got me a beautiful leather computer bag, complete with cards wishing me well in Israel. I tell you, it's difficult to explain to non-Jews why one is packing up and making Aliyah, but with such neighbors, it's almost required that I say that I'm not leaving them so much as moving to the place I've always wanted to be. Of course, it helps that both halves of that statement are true- and that's probably the best way to go anyway. I hope.

Just because...

2009-06-23T13:35:00.003-04:00

...it's flippin' hilarious. Granted, it's mostly funny only if you know Jack Benny. But if you don't, you should:

Don Wilson: Oh, Miss Kirsten, I wanted to tell you that I saw you in "Madame Butterfly" Wednesday afternoon, and I thought your performance was simply magnificent.

Dorothy Kirsten: Well, thanks, awfully. It's awfully nice and kind of you, Mr. Wilson. But, uh, who could help singing Puccini? It's so expressive. And particularly in the last act, starting with the allegro vivacissimo.

Don Wilson: Well, now, that's being very modest, Miss Kirsten. But not every singer has the necessary bel canto and flexibility or range to cope with the high tessitura of the first act.

Dorothy Kirsten: Thank you, Mr. Wilson. And don't you think that in the aria, "Un bel dì vedremo", that the strings played the con molto passione exceptionally fine and with great sostenuto?

Jack Benny: Well, I thought--

Mary Livingstone (to Jack): Oh, shut up!

(Thanks to Wikipedia, of course.)

Scene from the Salute to Israel Parade

2009-06-01T22:17:00.002-04:00

Every year, Dr. Ruth rides up and down the route on Fifth Avenue a few times. Did you know she fought in War of Independence in 1948? She claims she can still field-strip a rifle blindfolded.

This year, her golf cart stopped in front of my announcers' stand on 61st for a few minutes. I told her it was great to see her, as usual, and shook her proffered hand. Then she gestured for me to lean in closer.

"When is the Heschel School marching?"

I check my list. "In about an hour."

"Thanks!"

OK, a no-brainer. But for a while at least, I'm going to be telling people I gave advice to Dr. Ruth for once. :-)

All in all, a great parade. Lovely weather, great crowd, wonderful marchers, well-organized- kudos to all, and a big Salute to Israel!

For Memorial Day

2009-05-21T12:59:00.002-04:00

Very touching. And since this post applies to me (well, apart from the narcotics), you know what else I was thinking...

(H/T)

Edited to add a few more links:

Gettysburg, seventy-five years later. (And seventy-one years ago. See also this.) The part that always strikes me is when you see the veteran talking to a bunch of Boy Scouts, passing on the knowledge of generations. Five years later, many of those Scouts were probably fighting themselves. And speaking of that, read this.

Passover is nigh

2009-04-05T12:08:00.006-04:00

Well, here I am in Israel. (In answer to Hal's question below- and don't feel bad! I just hadn't let on!) Friday we (my brother-in-law and I) went matzah baking, the first time I ever did. Some pictures, courtesy of Chanan Morrisson, are here. (Late addition: Video.)

I recently saw something that made me think of a recent post by Fred. The post is self-explanatory- a lot of "professional historians" put in a lot of work so that he could do what he does, and the sneering (especially when it takes on a tone of religious judgmentalism) is really uncalled for. And this book only drove the point home more strongly. Don't get me wrong- it looks like a great Haggadah and, innocent or not, I have no problem at all with studying R' Eybeshit'z works; my only issue is with the following passages in the various introductions. (I can't say I'm the world's biggest expert here, so while I'm pretty sure of some things, other things I simply question with some basis. But it's the tone that's most important. For background, see here and here.)

Anyway, the Haggadah first has an introduction by Berel Wein. Thank God for little favors (for something of the opposite, see, for example, the end of this post), they face the whole controversy head-on. But on their terms, of course. R' Wein writes:

Traditional Jewry has always sided with Rabbi Yehonatan [NL: I appreciate the sentiment, but that's quite a stretch from "Yonasan"] and accepted his
denials of all the charges made against him [NL: Did he really deny it? Not so sure about that]. Only in the rarified atmosphere of Judaic academia does the dispute still rage in our time.

(Notice that R' Wein either thinks, or would want his audience to think, that a "rarified atmosphere" is somehow a bad thing. I'll be the first to admit that academics live in an ivory tower, but "rarified atmosphere" isn't the phrase I'd use.)

Then, the author of the book, in his introduction, quotes...his rebbe, R' Wein:

Rabbi Yehonatan [NL: OK, I'm pretty sure R' Wein's original didn't use that form] rallied [NL: Really?] his disciples and colleagues to his
defense. [NL: The Vilna Gaon is among those listed, which is really quite a stretch, leaving aside that he wasn't really a "colleague"] The innocence of Rabbi Yehonatan Eybeshitz has been established...

The reason he's telling us this, he assures us, is to emphasize what a brave man R' Yonasan was.

Anyway. My point is, leaving the revisionism, bad enough as it is, aside, there's that sneering attitude toward "academia" that Fred rightly decries. To make matters worse, there's this placing "academia" and "traditional" somehow in opposition when, in fact, some of the more well-known academics dealing with this are very much "traditional." And R' Wein, at least, knows that. Or should.

"The Missing Mahatma"

2009-04-02T10:26:00.003-04:00

(Let me just start by pointing out that anyone who so blithely holds up Ghandi as a role model in matters involving Jews is pretty massively historically ignorant. But that's small potatoes.)

As a run-of-the-mill fanatic, I was, of course, deeply troubled by this piece. I was also troubled by where it appeared- perhaps I should be puzzled, but seeing how easily the neocons drop all other principles (if they ever had them) is possibly the reason I'm troubled as well. Oh, and the fact that I wasn't really surprised that internet searches for criticisms of the piece yielded mostly- exclusively, actually- leftist (Jewish, natch) kooks saying that this Gershom Gorenberg character sold out to those same neocons probably kept me from being troubled in that regard, even if I was disgusted. So, b'makom asher ain ish...is a herring a fish. Here I go:

But I was troubled for two somewhat contradictory reasons. First, like I said, as a good extremist, I'm not as rah-rah about "peace," even accomplished under "good" circumstances, as some. Oh, I'm all for peace, of course- who isn't? (As Meir Kahane once pointed out to some peacenik in the US, he was the one with the kids in Tzahal.) But that word is used under certain definitions, as if certain people had exclusive rights to it. That...I don't like. Not the exclusivity, and not the definition.

And that ties into my second objection. Read Gorenberg's little "fantasy." Isn't it odd that his dreamed-of "Mahatma" decides that his number one thing to do is lead a massive (and thus, by definition, about as "nonviolent" as, say, any state action if not less so) demonstration against...Israel, as if that was their number one problem? I don't care what his point is, peace, religion, etc. With all due respect, those people have bigger problems than "free access to Al-Aqsa as the first step toward Palestinian independence alongside Israel." And even if independence is the number one issue, I can think of better (well, bad, even if not worse in the big picture, but better for them) "first steps." Like actually, you know, declaring independence, say. Or generating their own electricity.

(Said "free access," by the way, is not only a dangerous concession that whatever Muslims say must be true, but is an absolute joke when one considers that Muslims have far, far more "free access" to "Al-Aqsa" (barf) than Jews.)

It goes without saying that his little "fantasy" ends with the Jews- sorry, Israelis, no anti-Semitism here- shooting people. These people have some issue in their heads, I just wish I knew what it was.

So us fanatics can breath easy. Even in the fantasies of non-violence triumph created for them by their non-Arab "friends," Palestinians still come out the bad guys. The non-fanatics can continue their lily-livered (but sincere and most effective- don't get me wrong!) defenses of Israel while still paying lip service to peace. Of course, the problem is there are those who don't even do that, and the perverse desire of one Ben Nitay to keep them around. But as to whether the Arabs will ever catch on...well, I'm not so worried, for the moment. May they continue not to catch on for as long as it takes. And you know what "it" is.

Greetings from Jerusalem, one and all.

Check it out!

2009-04-02T08:20:00.000-04:00

Hot off the presses, or whatever the e-equivalent is. Our group.

A Snowy Day in Spring

2009-03-20T15:01:00.002-04:00

Somewhere, Michael Crichton is having a good laugh.

The end of Rush's show today: "I won't be here Monday...Mark Steyn will be substituting. Nothing to worry about, another celebrity golf benefit...plus, you like Steyn, so it's all cool!"

Exactly right! I never know when to tune in for Steyn days ahead of time. Thanks for the heads-up, Rush.

A few links, just because they're funny:

Okay, I see the bus coming right at me, so let's be clear: this was His ad lib. Read the whole thing.

"Thanks for having me on the show, Jay. You seem like a pretty nice guy for an Italian."

"In my country, shervish people shervish! Cooks cook!"

Post-Purim

2009-03-15T21:21:00.002-04:00

Went up to YU this morning, later joined by my parents for an amazing special Kollel Yom Rishon all about Birkat HaChama. Three speakers (the first basically an introduction, but still meaningful) with different angles, but all of them really added to my understanding and appreciation of it all. Now I can't wait for Erev Pesach- in Jerusalem this year, which, I recently realized, makes three regalim in a row- all five major chagim, actually- in Israel. Of course, I hope to make it much more than that come next year.

Before the shiur, I picked up the Purim issues of The Commentator, The Observer, and Kol Hamevaser. I devoured the Purim issues back when I was in YU, and even saved all the Hamevaser (as they used to call it) ones. I think this is the first time Hamevaser has done one in a while (they were recently revived in any event), and...wow. They still have it. All three do. I laughed and laughed.

Purim, by the way, was great, and this was a nice capper to the week. I got a good laugh out of Star Trek today too, come to think.

Torah and fun...what could be better?

Another paper bag

2009-03-03T17:25:00.002-05:00

Well, it's good to see the folks at National Review defending Rush, as is correct to do. Those who are attacking him are acting exactly as I expected them to do, especially one particularly nasty Canadian Jewish pseudo-conservative whose new site (he quit NR) I visited for the first and last time today.

But Jonah Goldberg alerted us to this chortle-fest. Wikipedia, our good friend, informs us that Jackson was born in 1962. I doubt she saw much if any de jure (or de facto) segregation.

Second, as Jonah's correspondent's point (that they all had the same pipe) reminds us, drinking fountains by definition have safer water than most other sources.

Third, as to actual discrimination...see the title of this post.

I guess she just has to racialize her job or she feels like she's selling out to the man or something. The history of the Left in America, in times of madness.

One of these days I'm going to present my list of points relating to Jonah's book. Maybe when the paperback comes out.

Love Story

2009-03-03T17:22:00.002-05:00

Over two years ago, I marveled at snow on Rosh Chodesh Adar. This time, the snow hit even later in the year.

But hey, being a "progressive" (especially a "green one") means never having to say "I'm sorry," I suppose. Heck, you don't even have to learn a lesson, acknowledged or not. The movie was based on Al Gore's life, wasn't it? With a non-dead Tipper, of course.

Let's do it for the Race!

2009-02-25T09:37:00.000-05:00

There are ads all over for the upcoming Baseball World Classic- the real "World Championship," so to speak. Generally, players from a specific country (Mexico, Colombia, etc.) play for that country even if they play in the US the rest of the time; countries with less native players (Canada, Panama, etc.) can reach a bit further- say, American players who are children of Panamanians.

Anyway, the ads show a specific player in his country's uniform with some rah-rah line. Why any ad in the US should show any player other than an American one (Derek Jeter in this case) is one question; another is why some are in Spanish.

But for sheer offensiveness, you can't beat the statement of the Mexican player: "I'm not just playing for my country. I'm playing for La Raza."

Can you imagine some white player saying "I'm playing for my race"?

Oh, and that assumes a sort of uniformity among all the peoples of Latin America. Trust me, they can't stand each other- country against country, and race against race within countries. But let's all play for "La Raza," eh?

2009-02-24T08:16:00.004-05:00

By the way, the post below shouldn't detract from what I think is perhaps the funniest line ever uttered on Friends: Phoebe is bearing her brother and sister-in-law's triplets ("I'm just the oven, it's totally their bun!") and confides in Rachel that she wants to keep one. Rachel's very first, almost automatic reaction? "Oh, I'm gonna to be on the news." (Corrected quote. See here at about 0:50.)

Hilarious, but also a profound statement on our society.

Profundity on Friends? Why not, if R' Carmy is quoting The Simpsons? (Granted, the latter can be a deeper show.)

Oh, also: You don't rile up the environmental nutjobs by attacking their sacred cows. Hee, how quickly they turn.

Regression

2009-02-23T08:48:00.002-05:00

A few years ago, I read Before the Dawn by Nicholas Wade. The topic of the book is human evolution, a subject I find fascinating. (I think I picked up some of this enthusiasm from John Derbyshire, which is how I also think I first heard of the book.) The quest to learn more about ourselves, today, based on the actions and needs of our ancestors hundreds of millennia and more in the past, the way different angles and aspects can be seen to fit together, and studies of that nature appeals to a part of my personality and mind. (The flip side is that reducing everything to chemicals, chromosomes, neurons, and instinct can take much of the mystery and wonder out of life from another end, and I'm not sure if the former balances out the latter. Of course, what this can do to religious belief is an issue as well. But I digress.)

One of the points Wade makes is a theory about the appearance of children. We've all heard people go on about how a baby "looks just like his father" or "has his mother's eyes" or whatever. The sad, cold, scientific fact is that while this certainly becomes true as a child ages (some of my cousins are virtually identical to one or the other of their parents when they were the same age), babies...don't really look like anyone. They all look pretty much alike. Some of the details of their appearance, we're told, stirs deep instincts we've got from way back- the disproportionately large eyes, for example, are supposed to make us more protective. (This is also why we like Bambi.) But the similarity of appearance, Wade cites scientists as alleging, has a deeper purpose.

Not to put too fine a point on it, paternity (as opposed to maternity) is never certain, and, very often, isn't what you may think it is. This was certainly true among the cavemen, and, studies have shown (now that we can test DNA), it even holds true, in large numbers, today. So the identical appearance of newborns is somewhat defensive: A man, thinking his woman/spouse's child is his own, will not be disabused of that notion too early on and is thus prevented from abandoning them, at least at that stage and possibly forever. Going hand in hand with this are assurances that "the baby looks just like you!"; there is one crucial detail, and proof, of this which I will discuss below.

I had reason to think of Wade when reading of this horror story in England- the one with the thirteen year old kid who fathered a baby with a girl a few years older. That's not the half of it, of course- just when you think things can't get worse, you read on in the articles and discover that they can, and do. And then another paragraph, and it gets worse. And then another... Theodore Dalrymple is right; civilization really is breaking down in the scepter'd isle. (But isn't it everywhere, each place in its own way?)

The thing that made me think of Wade was a statement of the young lad's. Amid suspicions (based on some rather obvious vocal issues and the fact that he looks about five years younger than his age) that he, erm, isn't yet able to procreate, revelations that the young lady, despite her protests, was a bit of the village bicycle, and the claims of at least two other of her "lovers" that they are the proud daddy (there's gold in them thar tabloid hills, which seems to be one reason why a lunatic on another continent had fourteen kids in six tries), the young paterfamilias protested that his whole dysfunctional family claims the spawn looks just like him: "My Mum says she has my eyes!"

His eyes! Ha! Nicholas Wade lives! Some bearskin clad mammoth hunting ancestor of this kid (and, if statistics are to be believed, most of us) just moved his (more likely her- see below) lips in the grave!

Now, lest you think that living the stone age life somehow vindicates our modern day messed up choices, let me remind you that we should, in fact, evolve, not just physically and mentally but morally as well. (It is here that God enters- or, better, re-enters- the picture.) Not only is there no moral evolution in this picture, and not only has there been a regression since, oh, only a few decades back, it gets worse than that. Worse than the aforementioned mammoth-hunter, in fact.

You see, Wade points out that there's an interesting proof to the claim that "he has your eyes" (true or not) is a defense against paternal abandonment: Studies have shown that overwhelmingly, the claim is made by the mother's relations to the father regarding his appearance. Simply put, it's an instinctive move on behalf of the person and family who would be harmed by abandonment- namely, the mother's- to appease the father by assuring him that, indeed, it is his kid.

But note the crucial difference in the English story: The lass and her family need fear nothing. Abandonment is a way of life (Exhibit A: the father's family) and a coddling nanny state will surely provide. Here, it's the (alleged) father's family that's pushing paternity. And why not? It's not like he's going to have any responsibilities (he doesn't even know what "financial" means), no matter how old he'd have been, and, more importantly, there are the aforementioned tabloid fees, which seem to be the thing most on the family's mind (the baby being referred to as a "business interest" by the great-grandmother being a particularly sad touch).

Our supposedly primitive Cro-Magnon ancestors (and, to be fair, much more recent forebears as well) worried about such things as responsibility, care, support. We worry about getting on TV and making a buck. (Or, alternatively- just so we don't forget what's really at stake here- blowing ourselves up for Allah.) Regression indeed.

"Eric Holder sworn in as first African-American Attorney General"

2009-02-03T16:52:00.003-05:00

...the news breathlessly informs us.

Um, is it just me, or does it seem that once the frickin' President of the United States is an "African American" (OK, he technically isn't, but whatever, for now), any black "first" becomes a whole lot less special, and maybe shouldn't be stressed quite so much?

[Crickets.]

Just me, then. Chalk it up to bitterness at just listening to two hours of "diversity" crap as part of a CLE course.

Yowza. Just checked out a picture of Holder. Talk about brown-paper bag tests. (See A Man in Full by Tom Wolfe for the definition of that. Looks like Holder is taking a bit of Brother Wes' advice too.) Gonzales is darker than him. Come to think, the AG position- and the Cabinet as a whole- has had quite a bit of "diversity" in the last few years. But you wouldn't hear about that.

2009-01-28T11:07:00.003-05:00

OK, this goes back well over ten years. After a particularly harsh winter (or, knowing the national media's insularity, perhaps just a single heavy blizzard in New York), Time magazine ran a cover showing some people struggling through the snowfall with a headline informing us that this, too, was a result of "Global Warming."

Even at that point (remembering the setting in which I saw the magazine, it was 1997 at the latest), anyone with eyes in his head should have been able to see that "climate change" (they hadn't yet developed the trick of calling it that) is a religion rather than science. And over a decade later, and after shoveling out yet another heavy snowfall this morning (a few weekends ago, I did it three times in one 24-hour period!), it seems that quite a few people still don't get it. Well, that's a cult for you.

"Obama: Lawmakers should put politics aside for stimulus bill" (AP)

2009-01-27T15:33:00.004-05:00

That headline concerns me:

1. I fear our President doesn't get that there's a difference between honestly held policy views and "politics." That is, that he's a politician without any real views.

2. I fear he has views and ideology, but doesn't realize (in true Alinsky fashion) that there are many things in life outside of politics and confrontation, and that policy can be discussed in an honest manner.

3. I fear he knows all that and is just trying to use the bugaboo of "politics" to keep any real opposition from arising. (Not that politics or partisanship are always a bad thing either.)

You may change every "he" above to "He" is that's your bag.

Well, Bush has left the building...

2009-01-21T15:15:00.002-05:00

...meaning that this legend has finally been put to rest.

Although considering the "explanation" they thought up for Reagan, I suppose they'll think of one here as well.

HaBayta

2009-01-15T15:53:00.003-05:00

By the way, as long as I'm quoting songs, I have to say that preparing for Aliyah in weather like this really calls to mind the words of Shimon and Garfinkel:

And I'm laying out my winter clothes, wishing I was gone, goin' home
Where the New York City winters aren't bleedin' me, leadin' me to go home

Lupins

2009-01-15T15:21:00.004-05:00

From The Corner come two postings about how Barney Fa...er, Frank has decided to allow beneficiaries of the government's bailout money (i.e., bigwig execs, although it looks like the congressmen themselves, plus some of the usual suspects, are gonna get some of that green) to keep flying their corporate jets. This is done, apparently, to protect Kansas's corporate-jet industry, and was pushed by two congressmen from that state, one from each party.

The Democrat is named Dennis Moore.

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Riding through the land
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Without a merry band
He steals from the poor, and gives to the rich
... Stupid b****.

Quite apropos, eh?

Achdut

2009-01-07T15:30:00.003-05:00

I tell ya, there's nothing that gets my Jewish happy-juices flowing better than seeing a diverse crowd at Mincha. I went to the Radio City Synagogue, in the middle of the Diamond District, yesterday, Asarah B'Tevet, as I usually do on fasts, and the usual spectrum of people were there. (Fasts, of course, bring out more people than usual, myself included, what with a Sefer Torah needed.) Satmar, Lubavitch, one clearly not-at-all religious guy whose wife needed a Mi Sheberach, and all the way to me, who some bloggers probably wouldn't even count for a minyan. I even bid for Kohen and won; twenty-six dollars well spent. The Sefer Torah was the smallest I've ever seen in my life- not more than five inches; our faces were practically right on top of it so we could read. Tehillim for "Eretz Yisroel" afterward, of course.

Perhaps the wrong emotion for a fast, but it made me feel a lot better. Perhaps, in fact, that's the most appropriate emotion indeed.

L'Hodot U'LeHallel

2008-12-29T15:03:00.003-05:00

Just said the last Al HaNisim until Purim. The last day of Chanukkah is always a little anticlimactic- you've lit the last candle the night before, and then...not much else. A nice long layning in the morning, and then, we have one more Mincha (and bentching, at least in my case) to remind us of what a nice Chag it was. Very good times indeed with friends and family, and now on to the last week of the year.

2008-12-07T22:09:00.002-05:00

I just really like this photo. (Thanks to Keren.) That's R' Seth Mandel, one of the greats, standing in the same spot as his rebbe did when he delivered his famous drashot (Lamport Auditorium- note the especially appropriate legend on the front of the lectern), speaking at the Kosher Bird conference sponsored by the OU and YU this past Thanksgiving. (A fitting date.) His co-star (one of many) in the cage next to him is a Silkie Chicken.

Alek Hidell

2008-12-01T12:57:00.001-05:00

A co-worker brought in a package of shower curtain rods today. Those with a knowledge of certain esoterica of American history (see the title of this post) will know why I "nervously" confirmed that neither the President nor the President-elect was in town today.

"What's the difference between Robert and Ted Kennedy?"

2008-11-30T12:36:00.002-05:00

I was asked after Mincha yesterday. "Um, Ted Kennedy is alive? Robert Kennedy wore his own pants to JFK's funeral?" I guessed. Both correct, of course, but the answer my (quite liberal!) questioner was looking for was far funnier:

"They won't be naming a bridge after Ted!"

Leaving aside the question of whether RFK deserves the honor, what a waste of money this is. Here's one person who'll keep using "Triboro," thankyouverymuch.

Speaking of legacies, of course, the One- not even in office yet- is solidifying his. The Iraqi parliament approved of this new forces agreement, and it calls for US forces to go back to their bases this June, and to leave Iraq by 2011. How con-VEN-i-ent! The One can claim credit for the former shortly after assuming office, and can claim credit for the latter as he runs for reelection, having had nothing to do with either. Bush, of course, will get no credit at all.

Well, on to brighter reports. I still have some things to do, and yet this has been a grand Thanksgiving weekend. It began Wednesday night with a lovely dinner at Sarah B.'s- good food, company, and conversation, and a CD of the Shat leading an Exodus Oratorio from my good friend Yonatan K. (whoa, beginning to sound like Kafka here), who also alerted me to Evacuation Day ceremonies last week. Thursday was a fascinating program about birds courtesy of the OU and YU, and the rest, thus far...has been lots of sleep. Good times. Onward!

Now They Tell Us (part infinity)

2008-11-10T22:16:00.001-05:00

Spotted today: ad for a TV special on the side of a bus: "How the media keeps you stupid."

As we used to say in elementary school, no-duh.

Steep learning curve

2008-11-06T07:40:00.004-05:00

This move by Russia is very clever, isn't it? John J. Miller has a good point, but I have another: They know Obama doesn't like missile defense, so he's sort of trapped: If he follows his instincts, it'll look like he's bowing to Russia's demands anyway- or, at least, they can claim "victory." The only way he "wins" is by doing something he doesn't want to do in the first place.

That is, if he wants to win at all, or even believes in the concept. I don't have high hopes, but, while we may not like war, it likes us very much. Welcome to the big leagues, junior.

"...normally a very sensible constituency with a high proportion of people who aren't a bit silly, has gone completely ga-ga."

2008-11-05T07:12:00.002-05:00

"And so it's beginning to look like a Silly landslide..."

(Let's pause a moment in appreciation of the people who actually typed all this stuff out, here and on other sites.)

Me, I'm just waiting for the oceans to start receding. :-) And no, I'm not about to jump on the gooey-syrupy "Isn't it so nice" feeling that seems to have infected many at NRO.

On a more serious (and parochial) note, one thing I'm concerned about is something the Rav said, about how secular American Jewish support for Israel early on proved that they were still part of the k'hal. Now...I'm not so sure. (Also see here.) The Jews I know were all (OK, mostly) saying the same (frightening) thing going in. The vast majority of American Jews, usually oh-so-sensitive? Not so much.

2008-11-04T07:36:00.002-05:00

With the election upon us, it seems the media has decided to let their guard down a bit. (h/t) Why, just yesterday, the reporter on WCBS-AM who's been breathlessly pushing a bad economy for quite a while, perhaps forgetting that it was only Monday, allowed (somewhat improbably, IMHO) that the economy might be improving somewhat. Expect such stories to proliferate come tomorrow. (Ah, someone beat me to it.)

Remember when I posted this about big-L Libertarians? (Small-l myself, which is why I a) always vote Republican and b) never third party.) Anyway, this confirms it in spades, especially the disgusting last question. (Where else do my h/t's come from? Or my news, for that matter.)

Anyway, my good friend Sussman can always be depended upon to sum it up best:

‘. . . our God whom we serve is able to save us from the burning fiery furnace,
and He will save us from your power, O king. But even if He does not, be it
known to you, O king, that we will not serve your god or worship the statue of
gold that you have set up.’ – Daniel 3:17-18

Gettin' on a jet plane...

2008-10-27T03:27:00.003-04:00

(I think that's an old song. Sounds like one.)

Well, another Cheshvan, another trip back to the Golah. The cycle will break next year, please God. Still, it was a wonderful time here. Last night with the Molchos was particularly nice, as it always is. More details to come, I hope.

This line:

However, during the court sitting, several policemen testified that Federman was
hand-cuffed at the time when he allegedly assaulted and injured their
colleagues.

reminded me of this Monty Python routine:

Usher: He can't hold the Bible m'lud.

Judge: Well screw the Bible! Let's get on with this bleeding trial,
I've got a Gay Lib meeting at 6 o'clock. Superintendent Lufthansa will you
please read the charge.

Superintendent: Is a charge strictly necessary, m'lud?

Judge: (heavy aside) The press is here.

Superintendent: Oh sorry! Right, here we go. You are hereby charged.
One, that you did, on or about 1126, conspire to publicize a London Borough in
the course of a BBC saga; two, that you were wilfully and persistently a
foreigner; three, that you conspired to do things not normally considered
illegal; four, that you were caught in possession of an offensive weapon, viz,
the big brown table down at the police station.

Judge: The big brown table down at the police station?

Superintendent: It's the best we could find, m'lud ... and five... all
together now...

The whole court shout together.

Court: Assaulting a police officer!

Prosecuting Counsel: Call Police Constable Pan-Am. (Pan-Am runs
into court and starts beating Njorl with a truncheon) Into the witness box,
constable ... there'll be plenty of time for that later on. (the policeman
gets into box hitting at anyone within range; his colleagues restrain him)
Now, you are Police Constable Pan-Am?

Constable: No, I shall deny that to the last breath in my body. (superintendent nods) Oh. Sorry, yes.

Prosecuting Counsel: Police constable, do you recognize the
defendant?

Constable: No. Never seen him before in my life. (superintendent
nods) Oh , yes, yes he's the one. He done it. I'd recognize him anywhere,
sorry, super. (the superintendent looks embarrassed)

Prosecuting Counsel: Constable, will you please tell the court in your
own words what happened?

Constable: Oh yes! (refers to his notebook) I was proceeding in a
northerly direction up Alitalia
Street when I saw the deceased (points at Njorl) standing at an
upstairs window, baring her bosom at the general public. She then took off her
... wait a tick. Wrong story. (refers to his notebook) Ho yes! There
were three nuns in a railway compartment and the ticket inspector says to one of
them. (the superintendent shakes his head) No, anyway I clearly saw the
deceased...

Clerk: Defendant.

Constable: Defendant! Sorry. Sorry, super. I clearly saw the defendant
... doing whatever he's accused of...Red-handed. When kicked... he said: 'It's a
fair ... cop, I done it all ... Right... no doubt about... that'. Then, bound as
he was to the chair, he assaulted myself and three other constables while
bouncing around the cell. The end.

Spontaneous applause from the court. Shouts of 'more! more!'.
Pan-am raises his hands and the clapping and shouting dies down.

Constable: Thank you, thank you... and for my next piece of
evidence...

Superintendent: I think you'd better leave it there, constable.

Prosecuting Counsel: Excellent evidence, constable (the constable
is removed, flailing his truncheon the while) ...

2008-10-12T06:17:00.003-04:00

The rule is that when something is changed in tefillah, you have to say it a month before you can be sure, in a doubtful case, that you've really said it. Funny thing is, nine days into the Aseret Yemei Teshuva, I still have to consciously remember to add and change things for that period. The day after Yom Kippur, I have to consciously remember not to say or change them. Seems like ten days is the limit for me, at least here. I'll have to remember to notice where I am at the end of Chanukkah.

Well, Christopher Buckley has endorsed Mr. Obama. I have a few thoughts:

1. Uncharitable of me, I don't doubt for a second that he (or those like him) would never have done it had Obama not been in the lead. (Although I still have much hope.)

2. Like his old man, he seems well insulated from things most conservatives are knowledgable of. Internet? Blogs? Huh? Also like his old man, he seems to crave leftist acceptance, or at least not mind when it's heaped on him. Uncharitable again, but I don't feel like being charitable to his type. (Speaking of his father, I think it's just plain unseemly for a grown man to use the words "mum" and "pup" in referring to his parents. Above the age of, say, ten, "mother" and "father" should be used in the third person unless some personal point is being made, and a few years past that, second person should be restricted to something not so childish, like "mom" and "dad." But I digress.)

3. He betrays a real negative attitude toward hoi polloi. Sarah Palin, case in point.

4. I don't like his use of "Sanhedrin" to describe conservative thinkers who, well, disagree with him. I've noticed his use of such terms in the past. It's troubling, especially in light of the left's obssession with (ahem) "neo-cons."

5. Good thing I didn't buy his latest book. Or the one before that. The last one I did buy was no good anyway. (His writing tends not to be conservative at all, by the way, just cyncial.) Fortunately the NR crew seems a lot more level headed than him, or I'd chuck them too.

Mea Culpa

2008-10-10T07:01:00.002-04:00

An appropriate title for a post about Yom Kippur, I think...

I'll be honest- I don't have much patience for long tefillot. I once read that the maximum time a human being can sit still (so to speak; I often walk about during tefilla) is about two hours; even Shakespeare's plays lasted that long (as he writes in some of them), as do most movies today. Shacharit on Shabbat should be about that long if not less; I prefer a short drasha if there's one at all, no extra Mi Sheberachs, and so on.

Of course, my patience is most sorely tested at the worst time of the year- the Yamim Noraim season. The last few years (as this year) I've been in Israel, and among the many wonderful things you can say about Israel is that its view of tefillah meshes with mine. The typical Shabbat morning starts a lot earlier than the US and takes a lot less time. I still haven't found a Simchat Torah minyan of the type we used to have in Queens ("hakafah" means once around, only five aliyot, out in less than two hours), but when you're starting at 6:30 AM, what's the rush?

That last point, of course, is important for the actual Yamim Noraim itself. Where are you going, especially on Yom Kippur? I guess that's important to bear in mind, as I daven those days with my family in the Yeshurun Synagogue, which (unlike most places in the US, as the Jerusalem Post [impossible to find articles there] reminds us) has real cantors, who like to perform. (Hey, they get paid for it- why not? It's like why Dickens wrote the way he did.) I don't like ay-yay-yays. I'd like a chazzan who reads the words.

Or so I thought. Erev Yom Kippur I heard part of a shiur on YU Torah (which seems to be down as I write this) by the Chazzan of Yeshurun, Asher Heinowitz, in which he described how the chazzan can get people into the mood of tefilla. For Kol Nidrei, after a the usual terrific meal at my cousins' place, I went to the Inbal hotel, where there was a small minyan being set up (by, it seemed, some American tourists) in a room in the basement. (The same room where my brother-in-law had his "tisch." The main room, where my sister's wedding meal was, was occupied by a service for hundreds and hundreds of French people, olim I suppose.)

The email posting for the minyan looked interesting- "serious, YU style" (nothing quicker than usual) was how it was described. And it was nice- nice people, no mucking about, and so on. But it suddenly hit me that, yes, a grand looking shul does help. And a chazzan who knows his way around the nusach does help as well. A lot. God bless the Inbal people, but the next morning I was back at Yeshurun. (It started much earlier and I was up anyway.)

Like I said, where are you going on Yom Kippur anyway? They started at seven and were done with Musaf around 1:30. I couldn't really go anywhere, so I sat (and stood) and read and talked until three, when Mincha began. I even got kohen, because things are always a little sparse at the beginning of Mincha. And, thanks to Israel's daylight time policies, the fast was over before six, and we even got in another Birkat Kohanim during Neilah. All in all, a good Yom Kippur.

Of course, the important question was, did I accomplish what Yom Kippur is intended for? Well, that's the toughie. At least I can say I tried a bit- we all try a bit. Something struck me toward the end: The bracha for Yom Kippur in the Amida ends "Maavir ashmotenu b'chol shana v'shana"- he removes our sins every single year. It's sort of saying, "Yeah, we're not going to be perfect in the coming year either, and God is going to have to forgive us again. (And thanks for doing it last year and this, too.) But we're trying- thanks for the opportunity."

So a big "thanks" goes to God himself. But let's also include the whole crew at Yeshurun, including, of course, Chazzan Heinowitz, but also Chazzan Brilliant (the Shacharit and Mincha chazzan), the gabbaim, the officers, and the Chief Rabbi, who davens there. Chazzan Heinowitz is a kohen, by the way, and as the day went on, and as I saw him (and duchaned with him, and complimented him) during, in between, and after prayers- he's a wonderful person off the bimah too- I couldn't help but be struck how the piyut "Mareh Kohen" which he sings so beautifully is quite applicable to him as well.

A good and healthy year to everyone out there.

Ramblings for Monday, Monday

2008-09-08T15:17:00.001-04:00

I like it when bus drivers try to be funny- they often succeed. This morning, as the Q74 came to the end of its route, the driver picked up his microphone: "Union Turnpike subway station, last stop. Remember to take your belongings with you, and have a nice day." A pause. "Oh. By the way, it's Monday." The entire bus cracked up.

Speaking of buses, I've learned that my humble, heavily-Orthodox neighborhood has some reputation. For example, a few months back, I overheard a passenger on the Q44 on the phone: "Yeah, I'm in Queens now. I'll be in the Bronx in, oh, twenty minutes or so? Where am I now? Hmmm." (Looks out the windows.) "Oh, on Main Street. You know, the kosher neighborhood." Ha! Too true.

Then, a couple of Fridays ago, one woman wanted to know where the local library branch was. "Just a block past the bus stop," she was told. "But will it be open? It closes at sundown in this neighborhood." This led to a discussion, which concluded that sundown (of course) was still a ways off, so she was OK. (Needless to say, the local library does not close at sundown, although it is the only branch in the city open on Sunday instead of Saturday.)

Anything else to report? Well, a brochure going around tells us that if you give money to one of those "Gedolim in Israel" charities (there are two- I think this is the lesser one, nebach), they'll daven for you at the spot directly opposite the exact spot of the Kodesh HaKadoshim. (I guess they mean at the Kotel Katan, or maybe in the tunnels.) Of course, if you asked one of these "gedolim" if you were allowed to go up to the Har HaBayit, they'd tell you, "Oh no! We don't know the exact spot of the Kodesh HaKadoshim!" Ha.

On to politics. Does anyone remember a movie from a number of years back ("The Contender"?), about some woman nominated for- I think- vice president- and how she's smeared and attacked by- you guessed it- the evil Republicans? Remember Geena Davis's blink-and-you-missed-it series, in which a relatively inexperienced woman succeeds to the presidency and is attacked by- you guessed it- evil Republicans? Who'da thunk that when the situation would arise in real life, it would be the Andrew Sullivans of the world (including one idiot in shul this morning) who'd be doing the attacking?

Ah, it's not all bad news. Barry and his crew are running scared, it's clear, and from conversations I've had, I daresay even many of the people behind those movies and TV shows may be swayed toward Palin. (Certainly hoi polloi are. And boy, I don't even have to be swayed.) Even the Metro News this morning seemed to prefer her and McCain over the One. The media runs in a herd, I think- who knows where it will lead? (Yeah, I shouldn't like that either. But it is sweet.) MSNBC yesterday, the Times today, in its article on her baby, maybe even, tomorrow, Snopes, which, I'm sorry to say, has really been in the tank for Obama this year. (I've seen claims they were like this four years ago as well, but I don't recall it.)

Ah, and speaking of young'uns, the best piece of news of all- I have a new nephew! Whoo-hoo! Mazal tovs all around!